Taking the road less traveled by....literally

So Much for the Afterglow – notes on reverse culture shock

2008-01-02T02:10:00.000+01:00

Home sweet home. I couldn’t wait to get back to all the familiar sights and sounds and places and everything associated with home. My initial shock of reentering American life has proven to be interesting and entertaining (well, at least for me).

As my plane took off in the Dresden airport, I felt strangely numb. No excitement, no relief, no sadness, no nostalgia, just “ok let’s get on with this, keep moving, got a long flight ahead.” I was surprised to feel so little emotion, but I guess I withdrew myself from the situation long enough ago for it not to stun or shock me one way or the other when the day finally came. I just couldn’t wait to get on with it and get home.

My plane from Frankfurt to Atlanta was delayed two hours on the way home, making the total time spent on planes approximately 13.5 hours and total transit time, including security and standing in lines and coming and going, 18 hours. Yuck.

When we broke the cloud cover in Atlanta, the first thing I noticed was smog and the brown layer of sky.

Getting off the Lufthansa plane, listening to the announcements in German, and saying “auf wiedersehen, tschuess” to the flight attendants, I realized that was the last German I will hear or speak for probably a long time. Honestly, it was a pretty good feeling. I never got over the discomfort of speaking German as my primary communication, even though I am fluent and have no problems in using the language – German just doesn’t fit me as well as English does. I now understand why Ricky Ricardo always yells at Lucy in Spanish.

Anyway, back to the story. While standing in Line Number One of customs they brought the dogs around to sniff people’s bags. Stupid Robin forgot to eat her orange she brought as a snack for the plane, and bringing citrus into the country is outlawed, so the dog caught it and the guy had to stop me and make a note on my customs form. Rather than being gruff and rude about it, like would have happened Over There, the guy was all smiles and completely relaxed, let me pet the dog, and said “oh it’s no big deal, don’t worry about it! I just have to make a note on your form, that’s all, and it’s fine!” I breathed a big sigh of relief.

Line Number Two of customs they confiscated my orange, but there were no funny stories there. Line Number Three I had to go through security again, just in case passengers acquired any deadly weapons between when we got on the plane and when we got off, and I forgot to take my laptop out of my bag. They caught it when it went through the scanner, and I immediately exclaimed “oh no! I am so sorry! I just forgot, I’m so sorry!” The guards smiled and said “aw honey, don’t worry about it, just take it back and send it through the machine again, it’s ok!” It was nice not to have anyone yell at me or be rude to me, and actually smile!

(Meanwhile, the airport was burning hot to me – after being in consistent below-freezing temperatures, the 50-degrees of Atlanta was sweltering. By the time I got to the end of the lines I had taken off my socks and shoes and was glad I had a pair of flip flops in my backpack, and had only a t-shirt on my upper half (no more jackets and sweaters and scarves).)

Success – I made it through customs in one piece, and could finally go meet Chris on the other side of the gate! The poor thing had been waiting for three hours because of the plane delays and the long customs lines. We got my suitcases, went to the parking lot, and got in his gigantic car. Definitely one of the biggest cars I’d seen since I had been in Europe, but hey, this is America! It was 6:00pm, and had I been in Germany, by the looks of the sky I would have guessed the time to be 4:20. So glad it’s not pitch black by 4:30 anymore!

Most of the ride home I was speechless, just staring out the windows and looking around. It’s silly, really, because I know what Atlanta looks like and know how it is different from where I have been, but I was floored by the sheer size and sprawl of it all. The city was huge, the highways were expansive, the buildings were so far apart…it was definitely home, but such a contrast to what I had been living in before.

Dinner that night was, of course, barbecue at Pete’s. Chris laughed at my excitement every time my glass of sweet tea was refilled (hey, free refills are still a novelty for me) and my big smiles every time Chef Pete came to the table to check on us and say hi.

The next morning we woke up and got right in the car to drive to Raleigh. We had to drive separately until Charlotte, which meant I had to get behind the wheel for the first time since I left the country – in the pouring rain for a three hour drive. What they say about driving is true – it’s just like riding a bike, and you never forget how. The only problem I had was actually remembering I had to concentrate and pay attention the whole time, unlike riding a train when you can zone out or go to sleep. No, I didn’t zone out or go to sleep, of course, but I had to keep it in my conscious mind because it wasn’t totally natural yet.

We stopped at B0jangles somewhere in South Carolina just to use the bathroom (so happy to have free bathrooms!), and I walked out of my stall to see a gigantic woman about three times the size of me washing her hands. Probably the biggest sized person I have seen since I left the country. Whoa.

I requested that day’s lunch to be Wendy’s greasy fast food. It was glorious.

The next interesting event was my first time back in Wa|mart, and I’m sure I don’t have to elaborate much for you to imagine why it was crazy for me. I’ll just say that the little foyer where they keep the grocery carts is the size of the largest grocery store I’d been in in Germany.

I’m also having to re-learn how to dress for this climate. No more sweaters, heavy coats, scarves, hats, and boots – but how much has my body acclimated to cold weather? I’m still trying to figure it out.

Each day gets a little more normal for me, but I am trying return to this life without forgetting what I have learned since I’ve been gone, and find a balance between the two.

HOME!

2007-12-31T03:12:00.000+01:00

Wow, ok, so it's been another long while since I've updated.

Since I last posted, I have tied up all loose ends in Dresden, went to Vienna with my parents and sister, officially left Germany, and am now in Raleigh, where I'll be until Friday. There are plenty of stories and I will post them in due time, but for now I'll let it suffice to say that I am HOME! :-)

Paris pictures

2007-12-19T00:38:00.000+01:00

are finally all up and labeled and stuff. If you looked at them before they weren't complete, so check em out again!

Three Month Reflection...sort of.

2007-12-18T20:50:00.000+01:00

I just remembered I am a few weeks overdue for my “three month reflection.”

The lower frequency of posts lately is because of two reasons. Firstly, the longer I stay here the less remarkable and notable things seem and the less inclined I am to write about them. Secondly, as my time in Europe is waning I am getting myself out the door and trying to see as much of it as possible, and the more I am away the less I want to write. But I guess I should be writing anyway.

So what’s happened in the past month (and a half)? Wow. A lot. Almost exactly one month ago I took the first steps in making arrangements to come home. A little over one month ago I went to Berlin, which was the start of my travel period. And after that point, life got better.

I finally admitted to myself once and for all that this place, this university, this activity, this everything, is just not for me. Once I accepted that it was ok to feel that way I was able to eliminate a lot of negative emotions. I am not being cowardly by backing down, but instead I am courageous by speaking up and saying “this is not right, I have to change it.” It would have been the easy way out to just keep going because it’s what I was “supposed to do,” but if there’s one lesson I have learned from this mess, it’s that I am the only one who is really looking out for me and taking care of me – and this is what I need to do to take care of me.

I mentioned in a previous post that my trip to Prague was the first time I really felt like “me” since I’ve been in Europe. My trip to Prague was also my first time out of GERMANY since I’ve been over here – and to me that was the difference. When I set foot on German soil I adopted the mindset of “ok, I’m not a tourist here. I live here. I need to blend in, I need to learn the German way of life, I need to act like a German because I live here now.” I put a lot of pressure on myself to become “Germanified,” and as a result a huge dichotomy developed inside me between the person I knew I was and the person I felt like I had to be to fit in here. I like to talk to people, I like to interact with people, I like to smile and be smiled at, I like to occasionally eat lunch with people I don’t know in the cafeteria, I like to know that I can ask strangers questions if I need to without angering them, I like to acknowledge people and be acknowledged. I’m sure you remember from previous posts, but Germans don’t do any of that. It’s a very closed and isolated society here – it’s not a bad thing but very different than what I am used to. In the beginning I felt invisible every time I would smile at people, or got no reaction from people when I was nice and polite and said please and thank you. I tried to learn how to “act German,” but I hated it, because that’s not who I am.

When I went to Prague it was my first time out of the country that was supposed to be my home. I realized that even if I were “German” it wouldn’t matter, because in Prague I wasn’t in Germany anymore and I’d be a tourist either way. I was finally able to shake that ill-fitting temporary German identity and get back in touch with the more authentic Robin. I hadn’t realized how far I had slipped away. It made my return to Germany that much harder because I didn’t want to get swallowed up in that again, and now that I was aware of it all, it was that much more uncomfortable. But I could return with the comfort of knowing that it was only temporary.

Though all these experiences I have learned that I don’t really NEED people – but man, I really miss people. Traveling by yourself is lonely. Living (essentially) by yourself is lonely. Not having a group of people to interact with on a daily basis is lonely. Eating most meals by yourself is lonely. I can do it, I have done it, but I don’t like it. And I’ll be happy to get out of it.

So this month I’ve just been doing a lot of traveling, not only trying to stay out of the environment I dislike as much as possible but also making sure I take advantage of the short time I have left. I’ve been trying to see things instead of writing about things, and trying not to think so much and instead just DO. (Although I did feel the need to write a lot about Paris, because it was also an interesting learning experience.)

I changed trains in Frankfurt on the way back from Paris, and it was a weird experience like going back in time – even though it was only three months ago. Much of the city looked unfamiliar to me, much like how my experiences there now feel, and it made me think about what’s happened since then.

I was a bundle of nerves before I got on the plane to Germany, of course, and in a conversation with Chris I remember saying/asking/worrying “ok, so I get to Frankfurt…then what? Once I get off the plane, what do I do?” He just calmly told me “you’ll figure it out. Don’t worry. You’ll get a taxi, you’ll get to the hotel, then you’ll figure it out.” Of course he was right, and looking back on it all and seeing what I’ve done since then, I’m pretty proud of how far I’ve come.

Not only did I “figure it out” once I got to Frankfurt, but I have also traveled to several cities in several countries – oftentimes by myself – since then. I planned my own trips from start to finish. I mastered the Paris metro system, I navigated the streets of Berlin, I survived in countries where I did not speak the language – and used only my own knowledge, capabilities, and common sense. And a map. It’s not an experience like navigating the Yukon wilderness or the open ocean, but it builds character just the same. I have learned how to rely on myself and be successful.

Back to Frankfurt. After three months of Dresden, living in an internationally diverse city with a group of solid friends and a program that was interested in our wellbeing seems like a dream. Why was that month so hard? Why was I unhappy?

After looking back, I think Dresden and Frankfurt fall on two opposite ends of the spectrum, where the optimal situation is in the middle. To me, Frankfurt meant limits. I felt like someone was holding my reins and wasn’t letting me reach my full potential – yeah, I was speaking German, but not as much and not as well as I knew I was capable of in another situation. Yeah, I had friends, and luckily they were nice people, but because I was in an international language school with no interaction to the outside community I couldn’t look further. There was no life outside of language school and the explorations we created for ourselves – a bunch of Americans with varying knowledge of German attempting to learn this unfamiliar city. There were no other activities available. I looked forward to Dresden because it meant opportunities and growth and expanding boundaries.

How wrong I was. Dresden instead also meant zero opportunities – but for a different reason than Frankfurt. Dresden meant I couldn’t participate in potential activities, that I stood on the sidelines and watched, that I couldn’t get my foot in the door enough to be noticed and be allowed to be included. It meant seeing opportunities just beyond the horizon but never being given the tools needed to succeed.

Like I said, Frankfurt and Dresden are on two different ends of the spectrum – I have learned that in order for me to be happy I don’t want walls and a ceiling, but I do need a ladder. Or at least the tools to build my own ladder.

Paris Part Deux

2007-12-16T19:38:00.000+01:00

As it turns out I do have a few more stories to share from Paris:

For lunch on my last day I went to a Chinese restaurant. It was where I was when I got hungry and the price was right, and only after I walked in the door was I struck with panic – what if these Paris-residing Chinese people don’t speak English? I don’t speak French or Chinese! Luckily the guy there did speak quite good English, and he was nice.

After lunch I went to Starbucks (I know, I know) for a cup of coffee. As I walked in the door one of the baristas turned to the girl next to her and giggled as she said “French-french-french-french-American-Eagle-french-french-french!” This comment was of course in reference to my blue American Eagle coat. I started laughing, and looked down at my jacket and asked if it really did say “American Eagle” on there? She said “no – but I know it is because I have the same one!” You can meet fellow ex-pats everywhere!

Coffee in one hand and camera in the other, I headed to the Champs Elysees area to check it out during the day. I was enjoying all the beautiful buildings and marveling at the original stores of all the famous Parisian companies – Loreal, Chanel, Cartier, Dior, etc. The next beautiful building I came across was the American Embassy – “how cool that it’s here in the middle of all these beautiful things!” I thought. CLICK went my camera. The next thing I heard was the sound of a guard’s whistle, and I suddenly realized what I had done.

Holy cow, was I an idiot?!?! I took a picture of the American Embassy! The guard came running toward me and I immediately started apologizing. I knew better, I really did, I had just forgoten, and I showed him that I immediately deleted the picture. He was nice about it, fortunately, and no harm was done, but I really couldn’t believe I had been that stupid.

Now embarrassed at sticking out like an obnoxious American tourist for the third time today, I continued toward Champs Elysees anyway – camera still in one hand……and an empty hand. Before lunch I made a stop at Hard Rock Café to get Chris a glass – but I had left it in the Chinese restaurant. I turned around, walked back past the guards at the embassy, and retraced my steps to the restaurant. Smooth…real smooth.

Next I will address in general how I learned to deal with French people. I think I had a lot of success because even though I don’t speak French, I am very polite and courteous – probably unlike most obnoxious American tourists. Every time I would interact with someone the first thing I said was an apology for not speaking French, THEN I would ask if they spoke English, then thank them for speaking English with me. I always made sure to say “bonjour” and “merci” or “pardon” on the Metro to let them know I was trying. I never ran into any problems and everyone was always polite back to me.

But it is true that they do get offended very easily. I decided on my last night that I wanted to shop for a coat. Everyone in Paris wore beautiful coats, and a few days earlier I had seen some for very reasonable prices, but of course I couldn’t remember where they were. I settled on browsing the area near my hotel. I tried on coats in two stores – in the beginning the store clerks were extremely helpful, and helped me pick out what would look good and helped me put them on. Only after I said “I’m sorry but it’s just not what I’m looking for” would they give me the cold shoulder and start pouting, and wouldn’t even look at me or say goodbye when I left the store (but I made sure to thank them for their help). Yes, it felt like I was doing business with kindergarteners, but I guess that’s their sales strategy – to guilt the customers into feeling bad enough to buy clothes. Sorry, but that tactic doesn’t work on me.

One last thought – speaking of stores, their store closing ritual was bizarre to me. Before we ate dinner one night Paul wanted to run into a store to find a Christmas present for his brother. I stayed in the women’s section while he went upstairs to the men’s. It was about 7:40 and the store closed at 8. When the clock struck 7:45 they made an announcement that the store was about to close, and suddenly everyone flocked to the exits. I moved closer to the door and waited on Paul, but a lady actually came up to me and said “our store is closing you need to leave” (well, it was in French, but I’m assuming that’s what she said because she pointed sternly toward the door) – meanwhile my watch still said 7:45. Apparently when French stores close at 8, it means they want you out so they can go home at 8. At least that’s what I took from it.

Paris!

2007-12-14T23:08:00.001+01:00

It’s Friday night and I’m sitting here in a café in the “arts district” of Paris, drinking a glass of wine, listening to Elvis, and catching up on what’s happening in the world. I am feeling particularly inspired to write a little bit about this city. I’ll approach it in two ways – by the unique experiences and things I have seen, and how it differs from Germany.

I mentioned last time that Paris reminds me of NYC. Everyone is extremely fashionable and I have never seen so many well dressed, well groomed people in one place before. The subways (“metros”) are also an experience unto themselves, but in a different way than New York. You don’t fear for your life when you make eye contact with someone, but it’s still a great place to people watch. Musicians also like to camp out in subway stations, or even get on trains, and play – on the trains I have seen accordion and fiddle players, and in the stations I have seen soprano sax with backup soundtrack recording, “karaoke” singer with backup recording, guitar, accordion, fiddle, and even a sitar. No joke – a sitar.

The difference between Parisian transportation and German transportation is the efficiency of the people who use it. In Germany it is typical for everyone who plans to get off on the next stop to move toward the doors as soon as the train leaves the previous stop, so as soon as the doors open everyone is ready to go. Here in Paris, however, no one moves until the doors open at the stop – then everyone gets up from their seats and deboards. In addition, no one pays any attention to the little red and green men for crossing the street – whereas the Germans would rather die a slow and painful death than cross the street on red. Both of these habits are behaviors I have had to adopt in order to blend into the German society but cause me to stick out when I am here. Paul laughed at me for hesitating every time we crossed the street, which I never did before my Germanification, and it was funny too because he said all his other friends who lived in Germany developed the same habit.

Parisians are badasses, and they know it. I mean, living in Paris automatically makes you a badass, and you have to be a badass to live in Paris. I have been pleasantly surprised by how nice people have been to me as an English speaker (because even though I speak another language it doesn’t matter, because I don’t speak FRENCH), but you can tell the people know they are all that and a bag of potato chips. They will sometimes ignore you and look down their noses at you, much like NYC, but I don’t mind it. To me it is actually a much more comfortable atmosphere than Germany – the people have to acknowledge your existence in order to choose to ignore you or choose to be “rude” to you, but in Germany the people look right through you and never acknowledge your existence in the first place. In Paris you know you’re not Parisian, but in Germany you feel invisible.

Last night at my hotel I met two guys from Cameroon – one was the desk clerk and the other was his friend who was just hanging out. As I came in for the night we struck up a conversation, and I ended up talking to them until almost 2am. They were wonderfully nice, and were very interested in hearing my abroad experiences and were eager to tell me about Africa. From the way they described the community atmosphere in their city, where everyone looks out for each other and everyone’s primary goal is to love life, it sounds wonderful. I also had an interesting insight into their culture when we spent almost an hour discussing a theoretical argument between husband and wife, and how it should be fixed and why. It was filled with “well what if this happened, what if she said this, how would you respond? But that won’t work, because a good husband would always do this. What happens if the situation is like this? How would you reach an agreement? Whose job is it to do this?” To me it was interesting to see how their community culture, described earlier in this conversation, was manifested in this problem-solving discussion as they helped each other talk through how to amend theoretical situations, how to be prepared for curve balls, and how to be honorable.

Apparently in Paris there is no tip in restaurants. I did not know this. My first Parisian meal was lunch, and I left the waiter a typical German 10% tip. The waiter was nice, and as I got ready to leave he chit chatted with me, asked me where I was from and how much longer I was in Paris, then invited me to come back to the restaurant before I left, then gave me his business card and said “I don’t work tonight, you should call me and we’ll get drinks.” I just smiled politely and said thanks, shrugged it off as “I’m in France,” and told the story to Paul as a good laugh over dinner. When we calculated our dinner bill and I went to put a little extra money for tip Paul set me straight, and then laughed because he said that’s probably why the waiter tried to ask me out – because I’d left him a tip on my lunch bill. Oops.

Speaking of French restaurants, they have a cool system called a formula where they create a 3 course meal (or 2 courses and coffee) for a set price, and each course has about three options to choose from. These formulas are much cheaper than ordering everything a la carte (see look at my French language skills!), although Paris in general is quite expensive. I also ate beef tar tar yesterday without knowing what it was – I knew I’d heard of it before, so I figured I couldn’t go wrong, until I got my plate and it was a patty of minced raw beef. It tasted ok, and I’m still alive, so I guess it was all fine.

I went to the Louvre today. Aside from being a tremendously huge and good museum, the building itself is beautiful. I didn’t know this before, but the building is actually the castle of the old French monarchy – so a corner of the museum is actually the old parlors, salons, and bedrooms of the castle. In addition, most rooms in the museum are pieces of artwork themselves due to the magnificent moldings and ceiling paintings. I got a front row view of the Mona Lisa, saw some Michelangelo sculptures, some mummies, and lots of other cool stuff. I’ll post pictures later.

I can’t remember much else now, but I’m sure I’ll have more stories later. I have one more day, then I head back to Dresden on Sunday.

2007-12-14T23:08:00.000+01:00

Better Late than Never

2007-12-13T20:11:00.000+01:00

So....I haven't been posting much lately. Sorry! And I guess I forgot to mention that I'm currently in PARIS!

I won't write much now because, well, I'm in Paris and I'd rather do stuff than write. But I will say that it is beautiful, huge, diverse, and reminds me of NYC (without the skyscrapers and English speakers). I love it.

I'm splitting my time between a hostel and my friend Chris' old roommate, who is in grad school here and was nice enough to put me up for a few days and hang out with me. Accessible/free internet is hard to come by, so I'm sitting in a cafe getting wifi.

I put a few pictures up on Facebook but I'll put more up later. Look here!

Budapest!

2007-12-04T23:25:00.000+01:00

Hm....where to begin? The trip was excellent. I saw everything and did everything! We toured the Parliament building, swam in the thermal baths, visited the beautiful old churches, saw a professional Hungarian folk dance show, enjoyed the Christmas markets, explored the castle district, crossed bridges over the Danube (cue the music...), and many more things I'm sure I'm leaving out. I ate nothing but (excellently cooked) traditional Hungarian food, learned tons about the history of the Hungarian people, and even learned a few words along the way!

Yes those were all the events from Budapest, but what stands out most in my mind is the wonderful warm and fuzzy feeling that resulted from being in the company of a good friend while doing all these fun things. Even simple activities like walking down the street or riding the bus were much more enjoyable when I had someone familiar with me. Actually having conversation over lunch (and breakfast, and dinner) was a rare pleasure. I felt so privileged to be able to experience Budapest like a "local," and so lucky to have a friend who made sure everything was perfect. (Anna I know you read this blog, but it's all true and I'd write it even if you didn't read it!)

This weekend was also probably the most culturally enlightening time of my stay in Europe. Anna was born and raised in Budapest but lived in the U.S. for two years (which is how we met), so she knows and understands both my home world and the world I live in now. We had great conversations all weekend comparing European and American culture, because we both have lived both sides. We covered the gamut from fashion to food to taxis to burglaries to universities to houses to hygiene to jobs to construction to restaurant service, and much more serious topics like how Europeans and Americans approach things like relationships and the physical body. I concluded that America is an overly cautious society that takes too many preventative measures because it is afraid people will do something stupid and blame the other guy, whereas Anna concluded that America does everything much simpler, not necessarily more cautious.

For example:
-Europeans don't individually label/identify the patients' names for their prescriptions, and there are no warning labels either
-There is no double yellow line on two way streets - just solid or dotted white lines
-They don't block off construction sites - people just walk right on through
-There are no "caution wet floor" signs, or anything of the sort
-Healthcare isn't as expensive because they don't have such outrageous malpractice insurance

And I don't remember what else we came up with. There's always the infamous McDonalds coffee lawsuit.

We also concluded that America is a much more prude society and oftentimes much more judgmental toward each other (i.e. when we were at the thermal baths, old men wore speedos and women walked around in just their bathing suits, whereas in America the women would all have coverups and the men wouldn't be caught dead in speedos, because they are too cautious and afraid of their appearances). But Europeans in general are much more fashion-conscious than Americans. Interesting.

I won't ramble any more about that topic; I could write pages about the comparisons between the two cultures. Maybe eventually I will, because I guess that's part of the purpose of this blog - to share these differences with you. I may sound slightly critical, but that is not my intention. It is merely a comparison as I experience another option of how things are done.

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

2007-11-28T08:11:00.001+01:00

Well, sort of.

After a brief three days back in Dresden, I leave again this morning! This time I'm headed to Budapest, Hungary to visit a very dear friend of mine (who, predictably, happens to be Hungarian and lives in Budapest). Not only am I excited to see the city, which I hear is wonderful, but I am also thrilled to finally see a familiar face.

Anna was a Rotary scholar at UGA last year, which is how we met. It's a small world!

I'll be back Sunday. Hope everyone has a good post-Thanksgiving week!

Non-musicians or non-music-educators might find this one boring

2007-11-27T11:08:00.000+01:00

After thinking about what I learned about the background of most German musicians, I went to orchestra rehearsal on Thursday with a totally new perspective. Rather than just focusing on what the group sounded like and how they played, I put it into context and thought about how their background affects how they play.

To shortly recap, German children learn instruments through private lessons and music schools, and the average children (not the ones who end up in conservatories) probably have very few opportunities to play in groups. American children learn instruments through band or orchestra class and are trained from the beginning to play as an ensemble member, but the average children often do very little solo playing.

The workshop orchestra I play with is comprised of college versions of these “average children” who major in other things but still like to play. And I’ll just say that the sound of the orchestra is comparable to the focus of its members. I realized that after my first listens and first impressions, I had been analyzing the orchestra by American standards. Concepts taught from the beginning in our schools, such as precision, watching the conductor, blending, and playing together are big struggles for this group. But after concentrating on their individual playing, I heard that they are all decent players by themselves – they just don’t know how to play in a group.

I will compare this orchestra to a concert band at UGA. The skill level is about the same, the groups exist for similar purposes, and the members are there for similar reasons. The problems that arise in UGA concert bands are playing confidence and individual ability - often an unwillingness or fear to be heard playing by yourself, and a much more limited technical ability on the instrument. As a group, however, people in concert bands know how to play in a band. In comparison to the workshop orchestra, the concert band as an ensemble is stronger but the individual musicianship is weaker.

For example: we rehearsed an excerpt that exchanges quarter notes between sections of the winds – in 3/4 time each instrument played quarter notes on beats 3-1-2 and the motive is passed around to every section. You American musicians are probably thinking “ok it’s just 3 beats of quarter notes, no big deal, we do that kind of thing in warm-ups all the time.” After close to 45 minutes of rehearsal on this one excerpt, my perspective totally changed. The notes weren’t a problem, the order of who plays when wasn’t a problem, but playing it all in time and with one another was a huge issue. The student conductors are trained as conductors, not necessarily educators, and don’t know all the “teacher tricks” we learn for how to address and fix ensemble problems like that.

I raised my hand and politely suggested we sing the passage instead of play, so we could focus on tempo and timing and take away the element of the instrument. I got funny looks from everyone because they had never heard of such a thing before. We learn, however, that “if you can sing in time you can eventually play it in time.” Sure enough, after a few repetitions of singing the passage, the ensemble precision improved as people could hear how their entrances fit with everyone else. I could tell they were still confused as to the outright purpose of such a silly exercise, and the conductor didn’t really know how to “teach” what we were doing instead of just leading the activity. When we picked up our instruments to play again a few players resorted to the pre-exercise late entrances and slower tempos because they didn’t make the connection.

In an American classroom, 45 minutes is an obscene amount of time to rehearse such a small passage and what we consider such a simple concept. However, the problems we would have faced would have been totally different, and maybe much harder to fix – people might miss entrances because they are too timid, or not play loud enough because they are scared to be so exposed or freaked out to hear themselves so well. These thoughts never cross the German musicians’ minds.

The results would be similar, but the causes are completely different. And the good educators focus on the cause, not the result, in order to bring the most success and improvement.

The most successful music education programs should perhaps equally incorporate the aspects of solo and ensemble playing to foster more well rounded players, so there are no extremes on either end of the spectrum. Because of time, money, and resources, is this goal in either system obtainable? I’ll get back to you in a few years when I have my own band program. J

Some More "Firsts"

2007-11-27T11:03:00.000+01:00

Over the past week I have experienced two more things that we take for granted would be the same, but are far different from what I expected. I got a haircut and went to the doctor.

Actually, the haircut wasn’t so “out there.” The only problem I ran into was not knowing the right vocabulary for things like “layers” and “split ends” (for future reference the German word for “layers” in your hair translates to “levels”), but I got a good haircut and I was pleased. The awkward part came at the end when I had to ask about tip. Americans are famous for over-tipping everyone, so I try to be conscientious but I never want to leave too little or not tip when I really should. My haircutter was Russian, so she was understanding enough when I explained that I really didn’t know the German customs for tipping stylists and I wanted to make sure I did it right. She said yes she usually is tipped, but it was up to me to determine how much. So I just guessed, and never really did learn how much is appropriate.

The doctor’s office, on the other hand, was totally different from my American preconceived notions. To start off, there is no such thing as an immediate care clinic where you can go just to get medicine when you have a cold or a sprained ankle or something. All doctors have walk-in hours a few mornings a week, and you just find a doctor and go.

With help of the internet I found an English-speaking doctor (more as a safety net just in case), and she was a little bit far away. When I walked into the office, the receptionist looked at my insurance card and said “you live in the city, don’t you? You don’t live in this neighborhood. Well, as long as you’re here, we’ll take you.” Apparently that’s another thing about these German doctors – they are supposed to only see patients that live in the area, so that just in case they have to make a house call they don’t have to travel far. Oops.

My American paradigm imagined a nurse would call me back to a room, I’d put on one of those flattering paper smocks, she would talk to me about what’s wrong, then the doctor would come, examine my ailment, ask about my medical history, and talk about what I needed. What really happened was the doctor herself called me into her office. Literally. I sat down in a chair next to her desk, fully clothed, and told her what was wrong and what I thought I needed. She barely asked any questions, examined me for maybe a few seconds, wrote me a prescription, and sent me out the door.

In addition, my prescription bottles are not labeled with my name, dosage, or warnings. It’s just a bottle of pills that you can’t buy at the grocery store.

The Germans are all healthy people, and the medicine is working, so I guess it’s all just fine. I think Americans are perhaps overly dramatic, paranoid, and demanding when it comes to healthcare. Maybe we should be, but maybe we could suffice just fine with less. I think I’d have to experience more on the other side before I could really say for sure.

Sights and Sounds of Prague

2007-11-25T15:17:00.000+01:00

This morning I uploaded my Prague pictures to Webshots for your viewing pleasure. And here I will include a few videos so you can experience the city vicariously:

The famous Astronomical Clock on Old Town Square

The jazz band that likes to travel around the city and amuse tourists

Changing of the Guards ceremony at Prague Castle

I do have to share one experience I encountered while over here, because it was a sad dose of reality that was painful to witness but necessary to share. Thursday I came back to my room mid-afternoon because my camera battery died and my memory was full, so I needed to recharge and unload. My room was off the main lobby of the hostel. While I was sitting there going through my pictures, I started hearing yelling and crying from the lobby - all in Czech. It was the front desk guy and a girl. I tried to tune it out, figuring I would stay out of whatever was going on, but then the yelling got louder and the crying got harder and there were other noises too - so I stuck my head out the door to check it out - just in time to see the girl pinned up against the wall and the guy punching her repeatedly.

I freaked out.

I didn't want to run out there because I didn't want to make the situation worse by them knowing that I was there and had seen it, and I didn't want him to get angrier and take it out on her (or me!), and there was nowhere for me to go because I had to walk by the desk to get out of my room. I wanted to call the police, but I didn't know if domestic violence is illegal in the Czech Republic. I'm pretty sure there was no one else around because it was 3:30 in the afternoon and I don't think they realized I was there.

I got in touch with my parents and they kept me on the phone until the noises stopped and long enough to calm me down and make sure I was ok. And that was the last I heard or saw of that situation.

Other than that, Prague was great. The movies and pictures probably do a good job of narrating. I treated this trip like a much-needed vacation, and made sure to wine-and-dine myself properly, relax, enjoy the sights, and just soak it all in. And for the first time since I've been in Europe, I finally felt like myself again.

Prague in the Moment

2007-11-24T00:13:00.000+01:00

Well I guess I should write an update because I said I would, but it won't be long. Really, you should be glad I'm not writing a long update because it means I'm out there living it rather than writing about it. There will be time later to write.

But for now, this city is gorgeous and old and really cool. There will be LOTS of pictures later. And some cool videos. :-)

I head back to Dresden tomorrow afternoon. I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving and is enjoying time off with their families! And tomorrow, wreck Tech!

Turkey?

2007-11-21T10:59:00.000+01:00

So this week isn't exactly going according to how I'd imagined. But it's ok, because I'm improvising and hopefully have made it all work out. I originally had planned to go to France to see Liz for Thanksgiving and my birthday, but the French train systems (in addition to most workers in the country) are on strike, the cheapest plane ticket was 750 euros (well over $1000), and the fastest bus could get me there by Saturday. Yeah, that can't happen.

So then I found a cheap flight to Barcelona, and decided to just hit the road (er....air) and go there for a few days. I bet the weather is nicer and warmer, and it would be a good place to relax and a pretty city to see. So I went through the process to purchase the plane ticket, but for some reason Ryanair wouldn't accept my credit card. It kept telling me I had a typo somewhere or I had selected the wrong thing, but I tried about 10 separate times and everything was exactly correct, so I have no idea what the problem is. But basically, that meant no Barcelona and no other Ryanair flights because I couldn't buy the ticket.

That left me with the option of just trains, and just traveling east or south (to avoid traveling through France). I remembered that I won't be going to Prague with my parents after all, and it's only 2 hours away, so that's the easiest option for a last-minute trip (literally planned the night before and day-of).

So there it is. I leave shortly, and I am very excited because I've heard it is a gorgeous city. I'm not too keen on spending Thanksgiving and my birthday by myself, but I'd rather travel than stay in Dresden another weekend - especially when I am very quickly running out of time to travel. I'll thank myself later, and I'll be sure to treat myself nice while I'm there.

(I will have my computer and the hostel has free wifi, so check back for updates and stuff, and that means I'll be contact-able).

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Eat some turkey for me!

More pictures

2007-11-19T20:39:00.000+01:00

I'm sorry I have failed you when it comes to posting new pictures - I have been terribly behind. But luckily I have uploaded TONS of new ones today! So go check them out!

No real theme, just rambles

2007-11-18T17:28:00.000+01:00

The sun sets these days around 4:45-5:00. Yes, it is completely pitch black by about 5pm every day. That being said, here's how I spent my weekend:

Friday night I went to dinner at my host family's house, where Minami (the other Rotary scholar who is Japanese) cooked us all a fantastic Japanese dinner. We had lots of fun doing things her way, including table manners and order of eating.

Saturday Jordan and I went to Königstein, a small little town with a really huge castle/fort. It was really cold, there was snow on the ground, and we had to climb a mountain in the wet and fallen leaves - I swore I would break my ankle by the end of the day, but luckily I came out whole. The weather was pretty crappy but it was cool because there was so much fog and mist, and we were climbing a mountain through the forest on our way to a giant castle, and we were convinced Frodo Baggins and Gandalf would come around the corner any minute.

Then today I went to an orchestra concert for the Musikhochschule, that lucky for me was in the opera house! They played fantastically and the opera house is gorgeous. Then I met up with one of Chris McCains friends from Würzburg who was in town for the weekend, and her boyfriend (who studies here, the reason she was in town of course), and had a lovely afternoon getting to know them.

The more Germans I meet, the more I am reassured that they really ARE nice people. Then I have another altercation with my roommate. Yesterday morning I was in the kitchen, and he came in and sort-of struck up a conversation:
P: You've been out a lot lately, haven't you.
R: Yeah, why not? There's a lot of stuff to see.
P: Well, I don't have anything against it, but it'd be nice if you cleaned the kitchen once in a while.
R: Wait a minute...I rarely use the kitchen. I'm not going to clean up someone else's mess when they cook and don't clean, and I'm not going to wash someone else's dirty dishes. When I do use the kitchen I completely clean up my things start to finish, but that's all I will do.
P: Well....it'd be nice if you at least sweep the floor every now and then.
R: Fine. I'll sweep the floor. But I'm not cleaning up other people's messes.

So then this morning I heard him on the phone complaining about me - telling whomever about his American roommate who is lazy and rude, and never wants to help out or do anything...and our walls are so thin I could hear every word. This kitchen was dirty when I first set foot in the apartment, people consistently leave dirty dishes all over the place and don't wipe up their messes, and I will not take responsibility for something I have never contributed to. And I don't think the adjectives "lazy" and "rude" could ever be used to describe me.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland, and other stuff

2007-11-14T18:47:00.000+01:00

When it's snowing outside, there are two urges that exist inside me - one is to go outside and play in it, the other is to stay inside, curl up under a blanket, and watch it from the window. Nowhere on this list do I mention enjoying going to class in the snow, especially when I am 30 seconds late for the bus and have to walk 25 minutes while it's snowing. Luckily it's not uphill both ways.

But the ground is still not cold enough for anything to stick, so snow comes down and melts into water on the ground. Today I wore knee socks, lined boots, jeans, tshirt, knit turtleneck, sweater, jacket, hat, scarf, and gloves, and was barely comfortable. And unfortunately I don't think I will see the number "4" in the temperature for a very long time, unless it is preceded by a "3." Our average high these days is about 35, and it's only gonna get colder.

Today was an interesting day. Aforementioned "class" was music history at the university, and it proved to be no different than usual (i.e. not stellar). It's the sixth week of class and we're still discussing Gregorian Chants, and she doesn't explain anything in a logical enough way for students to understand how things develop. Luckily I took this class last year at UGA, so I actually know what's going on. It's not the language that's the problem - I understand about 95% of it, and the parts I don't understand are when the professor starts speaking incoherently and mumbling about who knows what, so there's nothing to understand. But it gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning, I guess.

This afternoon I met a fellow "school music" student for coffee, and had a very interesting discussion about the different approaches to music education in USA and here. As it turns out there is no such thing as classroom instrumental music instruction, so my specific course of study doesn't even exist here. It's all done at community music schools and through private teachers, and the students may or may not even have bands or orchestras to play in, and the instrument opportunities depend on the available individual teachers. Every now and then the upper level schools (like our high schools) will offer instrumental music, but not usually. "School music" is more of a general music education - similar to our elementary music, but more advanced, plus a bit of theory and history. And it's usually taught once a week and in conjunction with art.

So when students major in school music at the university, they don't really learn the same things I do. There are no instrumental methods classes because there is no need to learn to play all the instruments - they don't really even HAVE to study a specific instrument, but everyone has to learn voice and piano. Only people who intend to be professional conductors study conducting. Their education methods classes are also completely different because we are being trained to teach completely different things.

Apparently what I study is referred to here as "pedagogy," whereas in the USA "pedagogy" is usually in reference to piano or Suzuki instruction, not broad instrumental music. Even then, their concept of pedagogy is still more geared toward specific instruments, rather than classroom instruction.

I was really pretty shocked to find all this out, but it explains a lot about why I've had so many difficulties finding classes that are appropriate for me - because the concept of what I do doesn't exist here. It is interesting, though, because such a big part of the American music education philosophy is that music should be for everyone, and everyone should have an opportunity to learn music and play an instrument - and here it is completely dependent on community schools, what private teachers are available in the area, and whether the parents have money to pay for these schools. The concept of band and orchestra as part of school is a completely foreign concept (quite literally, I guess). But the society as a whole is still much more supportive of fine arts than ours is. Interesting.

So then this afternoon I was sitting in my room, and heard two guys talking in the hall outside my room. I didn't listen to what they were saying, because I figured one of my roommates just had a friend come over. A few minutes afterward, I left my room and there was a note on my door asking about the key to the music room (which is in my possession). I was shocked - I had been sitting in my room the whole time! Why didn't they just knock?

Ich bin ein Berliner

2007-11-11T23:11:00.000+01:00

at heart. No, I'm not a jelly donut, but I really really really liked the city. (And I'm exhausted, so this post might not make much sense, but I want to write it anyway)

I'll try not to ramble excessively as to everything I did, but Berlin is just cool. It has so much history, so many stories, and it's still evolving - parts of the history are hundreds of years old, but a lot of it is still developing. Friday was the eighteenth anniversary of the fall of the Wall. I was alive for this very important part of history.

But anyway - onto the highlights of the trip. I had Friday to myself and my friend Jordan joined me on Saturday. This weekend was probably some of the worst weather I have ever experienced, and my supposedly "heavy duty flip resistant" umbrella is now completely bent and broken. During my first half hour in the city I stopped in Starbucks (I REALLY miss American coffee) and went to see the Brandenberg Gate. I attempted to balance my Gingerbread Latte, camera, and umbrella while fighting the fierce wind and rain, and somehow amidst the chaos my camera stopped working. Completely.
I have no pictures of my weekend after this point, and only have Jordan's pictures.

We did all the typical Berlin stuff - Brandenberg Gate, Checkpoint Charlie, the big cathedral, Potsdamer Platz (a square where the Wall went right down the middle, and it ended up being differently developed on either side - weird!), Topography of Terror, Jewish Museum, currywurst, and other stuff. And it snowed - TWICE!!! It was amazing.

Friday, on a whim, I went to Symphony Hall to see what the odds were I could get a ticket for that evening's Berlin Philharmonic concert (one of the best orchestras in the world). Not only did I buy THE last ticket, but I also was able to observe another orchestra's rehearsal in the hall - I just walked up to a violin player as she walked in the building, and asked if I could come listen. So I shared the hall with two other "audience members" and listened to a fantastic rehearsal.

Then that evening was the actual Berlin Philharmonic concert. Seeing as I bought the very last ticket, it was fitting that I had the seat farthest away from stage in the whole hall. I literally watched the first half standing up, because I couldn't see the stage if I sat, and watched the second half sitting on the floor looking over the balcony. It was totally worth it. They played Mahler 10 - amazing! I definitely had never before heard an orchestra of this caliber, and I was blown away.

So guess who was sitting in the flute section of the orchestra....none other than Ms. Jones-Reus (the flute prof at UGA)! Erin had told me she would be in Berlin for a while, but I had no idea if she still was here. It was so exciting to see her - not only because it was great to see someone I know playing with the Berlin Phil, but also because I was thrilled to see someone I know. Because I had been backstage earlier that day and knew how to get there, I convinced the security guard to let me in after the concert to find her. She and I sat and talked for a while, and she introduced me to some of her friends (that's right - I got to hang out with members of the Berlin Phil!). The whole evening was totally a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

And for now, that's all I got. It is so cold here right now - it snowed Saturday, it snowed today, and it's supposed to snow for the next three more days. The ground is still too warm, so none of it is sticking, but the high every day is about 35 degrees. I have never been in consistently cold temperatures like this in my life, and my body is exhausted from keeping warm and just wants to hibernate - plus I'm tired from a very busy weekend.

Oh yeah.....and go Dawgs! Way to beat up on Auburn!

Berlin!

2007-11-09T00:25:00.000+01:00

I'm going to Berlin tomorrow! At the last minute I decided to take this trip. Friday is the anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall and the anniversary of Kristallnacht (Night of Broken Glass in WWII), and what better place to spend these than in Berlin! I'll be there until Sunday - I'm super excited.

Talk is cheap

2007-11-04T12:04:00.000+01:00

I ramble too much.

P.S. it sleeted today. And we are supposed to have an inch of snow by tomorrow morning. Sunday's high is 30.

What are the German Universities like?

2007-11-01T15:57:00.000+01:00

I just realized that I have yet to actually describe what it's like to be a student at a German university. Aside from being interesting, I think this entry will help shed some light on the entire issue at hand.

(In this post I can really only compare the TU Dresden to the University of Georgia (and other SEC schools), because I can't really speak with much authority on anything else. So even though I might make sweeping generalizations, I am aware that my knowledge and experience is limited.)

The biggest difference I have noticed between Athens and this place is there is no presence of a collective university community or student culture. College is a place the Germans come to go to class, rather than being a much more social experience and an all-around lifestyle like it is in the US. There are no student organizations or clubs or common areas or activities, and there are no "groups" to belong to - at least that I have been able to find. There is a drastic lack of opportunities to participate, and the school is the size of UGA - with no central student body. There is no real community concept here like at home we are all part of the "Bulldog Nation," and there is no downtown area where everyone goes to socialize every weekend (there are tons of bars and clubs but they're scattered all around town, so how do you know where the "good" ones are without someone telling you?). I never realized how even though UGA is huge I always felt like I belonged there; it ran through my blood and the other students were just part of a big family.

There are no sports teams here, either. I didn't realize how much of a difference university sports make, and how they give the student body a reason to unite and come together to cheer for "your school" and collectively hate "the other school." In addition, I have yet to see one piece of university spiritwear on the entire campus. Part of that is due to German history and national pride that got them into so much trouble way back when, and it transferred over to other aspects of life too.

Classes themelves are also drastically different. The concept of core classes or electives doesn't exist - they start their freshman year taking their major classes, and stay within this field the entire time. And I'm finding out very quickly that classes are mainly student-directed and the professor takes a very passive role. For instance, I tried out a music history class at the Musikhochschule for the first time on Tuesday. As best as I could gather, Day One of the semester the teacher gave the class a list of 42 books and said "read these." Then in class every week the professor asks "ok, so did anyone read about anything interesting since last time? Does anyone have any questions about what you read?" and that's all he teaches. Because German universities are free, the question always arises of whether the professors are giving the students the initiative or if they are too lazy to be more hands-on and active presenters of information. It is very different from UGA, where such emphasis is (usually) placed on lectures and notes. Is it better to be so guided, structured, and regimented, like at home, or is it better to have total freedom and no guidance like here? Maybe somewhere in the middle.

As far as tests and assignments are concerned, the entire semester has no concrete assignments until the final test. It's every student's responsibility to read all books the professor puts on the reading list, and know the material in the books, then pass the end-of-semester test on the material. The lectures, from what I have witnessed, are broad and unspecific, and most of the semester work is reading books. Sometimes classes will require an oral presentation to get an additional credit toward the diploma. And that's the only way the university knows what classes each student takes - by whether they earn the test and/or presentation credit. There is no registrar's office and no OASIS system to register for classes - you just kinda show up to what you want, based on what credits you need.

It's all very interesting, and very different from what I am used to. There are still many things I don't know how to do or things I don't know about the system, but I guess all that you just learn as you go. Or not.

Two Month Reflection

2007-10-29T18:24:00.000+01:00

Wow…the two month reflection. I can’t believe it is only two months – I seriously had to double-check on a calendar because I swear I have been here longer. I decided I want to do one of these every month, because it’s a good way for me to look back and think about the bigger picture, and since this blog is also quasi serving as my own journal in addition to a communication tool, it’s time to reflect. And I’m going to be honest.

I dubbed my month in Frankfurt as “the hardest month of my life” – but actually, I think this month takes the cake. As hard as it was in that city, I knew it wasn’t permanent – and maybe that was part of why it was so hard. I knew I couldn’t settle in and get comfortable. But since I’ve been here, and I know I do need to settle in and get comfortable, and try to actually start making a life for myself because I’ll be here for a while, I have had more roadblocks than successes. And it’s easy to get frustrated and worn down when you have an open canvas and no paint to fill it, and no matter how hard you look, you can’t find paint to start your artwork.

I’ll let you go back on your own and read the various entries where I chronicled all the frustrating situations I have dealt with, but I’d like to think that I have done a reasonable job in attempting to get myself in the right places at the right times, and using available resources to do the best job I could. Coming up on the fourth week of school and fifth week in Dresden, I don’t feel like I know much more than I did when I first got here. And I’m not satisfied with the artwork that is forming.

What’s really the problem, as broad and general as I can make it? Am I homesick? Am I lonely? Am I frustrated? I know I don’t like the university, but why?

Depending on who you are and when we last talked, there are several different states of being I have embodied in the past month, with varying degrees of extremity, most of them centered around one theme – I’m just not happy here.

But how unhappy is “just not happy?” And how long is it ok, both logistically and healthily, to be “just not happy?”

I think the main problem, the concept that I can’t seem to get out of my head, is most days I really just feel like I’m wasting time here. I only have a handful of classes and I don’t enjoy most of them because (in my opinion) they are poorly taught and aren’t really worth the energy to come to class. It’s a shame, really, because the classes I have in mind in this description are my German-as-a-foreign-language class and my music history classes. I chose these classes to help me learn the language AND material, but unfortunately I’m not really learning either thus far. It is four weeks into the semester and I want to completely revamp my schedule, again, just to find activities that seem worthwhile to me, but four weeks in, can I really join new classes? I’m not taking them for credit, anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.

It doesn’t really matter.

With every door that slams in my face, or every roadblock I try desperately to overcome, I just have to keep repeating that phrase to myself. Because in the long run, what am I really doing over here anyway? None of this really matters. And anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I don’t like to waste time.

I chose to take a year off school and delay my graduation for a year in order to do this, in order to have this experience of living overseas for a year. So far my “living” consists of not much to write home about – literally – and as much as I am trying to get out of my room and explore, and see things, and really live, and paint my canvas, there’s only so much I can do, or want to do, or is safe to do, by myself. In the cold and in the rain. And in the midst of train strikes on the national railway system.

By myself? Gosh, I’ve been here for a month already, don’t I know anyone? Read this post in order to answer that question. East Germans aren’t exactly warm and welcoming to Americans, or new people at all, and most of the international students are here in groups and also aren’t really open to meeting other international students who don’t speak their native language. Emily commented on the aforementioned post and said “well, the Swiss can’t ignore me for the whole year!” But I think the Germans can. They’re not mean – they just can’t think of any good reason for me to register on their radar. And until I “learn how things go” I can’t seem to get myself to register, but I can’t “learn how things go” until someone lets me in enough to learn. I’m not giving up yet, but there’s a reason my only real friends over here, after a month, are another American and another Rotary scholar.

Do I see things improving? I have no idea. I can’t speculate on things I don’t know anything about, including this university and the German people, and it’s hard to accurately judge this situation – do I base it on the current state of things, or things as I want them to be or hope they work out to be?

I think I got in over my head. I think Rotary was right in the first place when they said I was too young and I should come back later – after all, I am the youngest Ambassadorial Scholar I have met or seen thus far. I’m the only one who has not yet finished college, who is not doing some sort of graduate degree or graduate work, who still has so many ties to “the life I left.” In the end, they did end up giving me this scholarship. Maybe I shouldn’t have left, but I did. I accepted the scholarship, I chose this city and I chose this school. I can’t really change any of that now.

So what do I do now? I really want things to work out here and for it to be an amazing experience, but is it better to have a mediocre experience here or get one more semester at UGA? I don't want to give up because it's hard, but if it is going to turn into bad a situation that isn't worth my time, I need to be smart about it. Is it still a great opportunity that I would be walking away from, or am I just realizing how screwed up this system is? Can I really do this for another 9 months?? Should I keep trying to break through barriers, just keep fighting and keep my fingers crossed, in hopes that eventually something might work out? Or should I get out while I can still repair some of the damage, and still get out of college in a decent amount of time? I have to do some serious thinking and weigh my options. What really is the most beneficial place for me to be? And what decision will I regret more in the long run?

Depending on the day, my answer is always different.

I know that technically speaking, my scholarship is to be a cultural ambassador, not necessarily a student. But my full title is “Academic Year Ambassadorial Scholar,” and the purpose is to be here and study and learn. There is a separate 6-month long scholarship to purely do cultural activities. I know they still want me to be a cultural ambassador, and the school thing should be on the back burner, but I’m having a really hard time supporting that idea.

But I haven’t forgotten that I do need to soak up as much culture as I can. Every time the weather is nice, and sometimes even when it’s not, I kill time walking around the city and seeing what there is to see. I traveled to Leipzig last weekend, and hopefully can get out and travel more. This weekend I attended a concert and city tour as part of the Jewish Culture Week. I sign up for as many university-sponsored cultural events as I can.

I can’t let myself walk away until I feel like I have exhausted every opportunity and still can’t build anything that is worth it. After all, school is still new. But if I want to come home, I need to make that decision soon because the UGA semester is more than halfway over.

I guess this “reflection” ended up being a lot longer than I intended, but I wanted to put all that out there. In case I do decide to take drastic action, it won’t be a new idea and it won’t be a surprise. But if I decide to stick it out and see what happens, it’s just another battle along the way that makes the experience what it is.

Actually, this is really the first “big girl,” adult, life-altering decision I have ever made. Yes I applied for the scholarship, but it didn’t take any courage or long thoughts to apply, and all I did was say yes when they gave it to me. But the decision to stay or go - that’s one that carries a lot more weight.

Any thoughts or opinions you may have, I’d love to hear them.

Darkness falls

2007-10-28T18:10:00.000+01:00

We switched back from Daylight Saving Time today....one week earlier than the U.S. It is currently 6pm....and completely pitch black outside. It's gonna be a long winter.

GO DAWGS!!

2007-10-28T10:46:00.000+01:00

Last night I got to watch the Georgia game!!! And it wasn't just any Georgia game - it was FLORIDA. And we WON!!!!!

Friday night I went to the "American Bar" to ask if there was any possibility that they would show the game - they subscribe to an American sports channel via satellite, so seeing as it was a 3:30 CBS game, I asked if it was on this channel. Sure enough it was, so they told me if I came on Saturday they'd turn the game on!

So of course I came on Saturday. All decked out in Georgia stuff, with my friend Jordan (from Clemson) for company, we parked ourselves in this bar and I soaked up every second of the game. It was wonderful.

It's amazing how much that kind of thing gets under your skin - I have really missed the Dawgs this year and really missed football. After three years of Redcoats and attending virtually every game (except for the Derbies-only away games when I was an underclassman), an entire season when I have been so far away and unable to watch anything at all has been really hard. After years of participation, and eating-breathing-sleeping-living Georgia sports for so long, it feels like a part of me is incomplete without any connection to it.

And sitting there in the bar last night, I realized why.

It was a very surreal experience, watching this game on tv from halfway across the world. Especially because I knew that if I hadn't been sitting in that bar watching, I would be sitting in that stadium experiencing it live. I never got my "last Florida trip," and if I hadn't been here, I would have been there. And I knew exactly what it felt like to be there. Three years in a row I had been in that stadium, sat in those seats, celebrated wins and mourned losses, been on that field, worn that uniform. And everyone I went through it with was still in that stadium, still doing it one last time, and I was watching it from satellite tv in Germany. I knew exactly what it would have felt like to be there, celebrating with Katie and Carmen and Katie and Gabe and Matt and the others, screaming so loudly you're hoarse the next day, jumping up and down, playing Glory so loud you think your lips will burst, and so fast the drum major can barely keep up, and everybody's crying and shouting and celebrating and taking pictures and we can all hardly believe that the experience is real. For them, yesterday, it was. For me, it was a memory of how it used to be. When I went through the season last year, I didn't know it would probably be the last time.

I chose to leave. I chose to forgo my last year of that in order to do this. But that's what makes it hard - I know exactly what I'm missing. And I saw it last night on tv.

Once a Dawg, always a Dawg. How sweet it is.

Check it out

2007-10-27T10:45:00.000+02:00

Organ concert in the Kreuzkirche!
Sorry they're sideways...I can't figure out how to turn them.
Also - click the play button in the bottom left corner, not the one on the screen, or else it will reroute you to youtube. Enjoy!

Shining happy people?

2007-10-26T16:36:00.000+02:00

I just had to briefly share this experience as a followup of yesterday's post:

My parents sent me flowers last week - ordered them via internet I guess? The delivery lady showed up at my door and handed me a big bouquet, but I needed something to put them in - I had no vase since a vase wasn't on my list of necessities to buy as soon as I moved here, but I found a quart-size measuring cup in the cabinet that was big enough.

Roommate Phillip knocked on my door today asking if I knew what happened to a missing measuring cup. The conversation went something like this:

P: Have you seen a measuring cup that was in the kitchen?
R: Oh, yeah, sorry - (briefly explained story and why I taken it). I'm really sorry! They're pretty much dead now, so here, I'll empty and wash the vase and put it back in the cabinet now. (proceeds to empty and wash)
P: Well, I needed it last weekend and I couldn't find it.
R: I'm sorry! I didn't know you were looking for it!
(meanwhile, P followed me into the kitchen and is watching me wash the "vase")
R: Oh, well, do you need it now?
P: No, but I might this weekend. You know, if you're going to keep flowers, you should buy a vase.
R: Well yes, I know that, but I didn't know I was receiving these flowers, so I didn't have a vase ahead of time. I didn't bring one with me from the U.S. Sorry I took your cup when you needed it.
P: Well why did you use this measuring cup?
R: I didn't have a vase and I had nothing else to put these flowers in. This cup was the biggest thing I could find. Sorry!
P: Well, I asked everyone else if they knew where it was but you were gone this weekend so I didn't ask you (my reaction: but it's Friday! that was six days ago!).
R: Yes, I was out of town. Sorry I had your [stupid] measuring cup!

Geez! What else do you want me to say? If no one is ever around, how am I supposed to know and ask what I can use?

What are the people like here in Germany?

2007-10-25T17:33:00.000+02:00

After living in this apartment for almost four weeks I just had the first conversation ever with one of my roommates. It prompted me to write an entry about what the people are like over here - and that one statement pretty much sums it up. The end.

No but seriously - I live in an apartment of five people, and I never see any of them. Not even Phillip, the guy I hung out with a few times in the beginning. It is so hard to get used to, especially after living with my best friends in Athens to living with total strangers here. Doors are always shut, no one makes noise, and I think they all even eat in their rooms, because I never even see anyone in the kitchen - which should be the communal spend-time-here-place. Tonight I went to wash some of my dishes in the sink and stumbled upon Paul cooking some pasta. I struck up a conversation and started to actually get to know who this guy is who lives on the other side of the wall - and when his pasta was done, he picked up the pan off the stove and brought it all in his room. Just like that. Didn't even take the pasta out of the pan first.

That is what most of my experiences with Germans have been like - they're not mean, but it really doesn't occur to them to talk to people they don't know. They don't see the point in getting to know new people or exchanging courtesies or even initiating conversation for the first time. You can sit next to someone at a table in the dining hall and never even make eye contact - and that's totally normal.

That's why they are always so put off when I ask for help - because they are taken aback that someone actually had the nerve to talk to them and interrupt their life to ask a foolish question. Same goes for being in public places - don't dare bump into anyone, and if you do don't try to apologize, because then you have interrupted them twice - the first time when you got in their way, the second time when you talked to them.

In my classes the people haven't necessarily been unfriendly to me - just generally disinterested in pursuing any sort of dialogue. Every now and then I'll meet someone who talks back, but then after class when I turn to ask his/her name, they're already halfway out the door. It's such a different philosophy than what I'm used to from being an American college student - everyone at UGA is generally very friendly, and constantly exchanging cell phone numbers and emails, and asking if you want to join them for lunch, meet them downtown on weekends, etc.

Slowly but surely I'm starting to make some international friends and realizing that we're all experiencing the same unintentional cold shoulder from the Germans - and it's almost become a joke that we live here in Germany, but don't actually know any Germans. I had to learn how to laugh about it and how not to think that it was a fault of mine for not having success and not knowing how to make friends. Chris likes to laugh at me because I get so excited every time I actually do have a conversation with someone - but it's the small victories that (hopefully) eventually lead to actual friendships.

I'll figure it out eventually, but I just really hope I don't return to America cold and distanced like the people I live with. I just have to keep in mind that fifteen years ago this place was a communist country, and that history helps explain a lot about why things are the way they are. These people have known life in such a harder and coarser way than I have, and they chose their manner of coping and living - I'll learn what they have to offer, then figure out what works for me.

Pictures!

2007-10-25T00:20:00.000+02:00

I know you are intelligent people, dear readers, but I do want to take a moment to discuss the link to the right of the page entitled "Pictures."

A while ago, before the days of Facebook photo albums, I kept up with a Webshots page to share all my pictures. Luckily the account still exists (and still has my old pictures still on the site), so I brought it back to life to share pictures that are better quality and easier to access for everyone.

I linked the site over there to the right on this page, and it will take you to my pictures page, which contains several albums within the site. That means no more "click this link to see my pictures from this album, and that link for that album, etc."

Sometimes I may forget to write when I post new pictures, so check it periodically to see if anything is new. I'll try to remember to say something, but odds are, if I did something cool I'll post pictures of it.

Like now - I posted pictures from my weekend in Leipzig! Check 'em out!

If you're too lazy to move your mouse to the right, here's the link :-)

Slow but steady wins the race

2007-10-23T22:34:00.000+02:00

I don't really have much to write, but I'm just checking in to say that things are, actually, fine.

I went to Leipzig this weekend to see my friends Anne and Raul that I met in Frankfurt. We didn't do a whole lot - I went to see them, not the city, so we just took it easy. We did walk around the city before I headed back on Sunday, and I got to visit the Thomaskirche and see Bach's grave. That experience was pretty amazing - it wasn't just anybody, it was Bach. The guy who pretty much invented music theory, the guy I studied and researched intensively last year, the guy who wrote so much music we perform and listen to daily. And this weekend I just hopped on a train to the next city over, and visited Bach's grave. Pretty cool.

This week so far has actually been a pretty average school week. I may retract this statement later in the week, but I think I have my class schedule mostly figured out. I have a music pedagogy and a music history class at the university, plus a German-as-foreign-language course. I have another music ed course at the Musikhochschule, and maybe more there - we'll see.

Yesterday I went to my first class at the Musikhochschule - and as it so happens, the director of the school teaches this class. He was really cool and pretty much told me I can do what I want and take what I want. There are only twelve people in this class, so there's no hiding in the back corner and no way the other students can't notice me - but so far they all seem really nice and welcoming. Unfortunately I had to talk to the professor after class instead of talking to them, but the class feels promising.

Other than that, not much is really happening - I'm just letting things go and am glad that they are starting to slowly fall into place.

More Random Observations

2007-10-19T10:42:00.000+02:00

The Germans sell yogurt in jars, so if you’re like me and eat a lot of yogurt, you can buy it in jars that contain about 3-4 cartons’ worth of the stuff.

I found out the hard way that you can’t open the dryers to check how close to done your clothes are….unless you want them to be done right then and there because the dryer won’t start back up without more money. Or else your room will end up looking like this:

The way most of my initial conversations with people go:
“I can hear you have an accent, where are you from?….You’re American? How is it that you speak such good German?” (Does that mean most Americans speak poor German?)

No one eats while they walk. This practice is all too common in America, and I still fully participate, so I often get funny looks here when I stand at a bus stop or walk down the street eating a banana or granola bar or something. This difference is compounded by the fact that they don’t sell travel coffee mugs here – it took me literally hours and hours to finally find one.

Ikea gives free refills! It is the only such place I have seen since my tenure in this country. They had to advertise it like crazy with red signs everywhere reminding people that they could actually refill their drinks when they were finished. I was a pro, and took advantage of it a few times, of course.

Text messaging in German is really awkward. And yes, my phone has predictive text in German.

I bought “American” salad dressing the other day, just to see what “American” salad dressing is. I figured it would be Ranch, but it is definitely some sort of tomato-basil-ish type thing, that I certainly haven’t ever eaten in the States. It’s good though.

Snow is in the forecast next week.

In a conversation with a Rotarian who spent some time in America, he asked me what my least favorite part about Germany is. I told him it was the bureaucracy and how long it takes to get anything done over here. His least favorite part about America: he thought the people were too friendly. “I don’t want anyone at the cash register to talk to me, or on the bus, or in the elevator – Americans talk to each other too much!” I laughed and told him that’s one of the things I miss most about home - the people are nice and actually approachable.

Musicians > Bureaucracy, vol II

2007-10-18T14:40:00.000+02:00

After another long emotional battle of "what am I going to do next," I finally heard back from someone at the music school. He told me to come by and talk to the secretary about getting permission to sit in on some classes.

I went there today, and guess what? I now hold in my hand a piece of paper that gives me permission to take pretty much what I want at the music school, provided the professors sign off on it (but the secretary said they always will). I have to pay 50 euros, but I get my own student ID and everything! They also gave me the school handbook with the class registry, teacher directory, and how to do everything. If only the university had their stuff together like this.

Next I went to the International Residence Office to attempt to get my student visa, Take 2. They sent me away last time because it was too soon after I registered as a resident, and my face was too small in my passport pictures. I got new passport pictures, and painstakingly went through all my paperwork for the second time to make sure I had everything right. Didn't get it again. This is why:

-Instead of the financial guarantee letter from Rotary that tells them I have a scholarship and will be financially secure, they need the actual printout of my bank account statement showing that there is money inside.
-Instead of my admissions letter for the university, I need my enrollment certificate from the university (even though the paperwork said the admissions letter was fine).
-Instead of a form from the insurance company that says I registered for the plan, I need a piece of paper showing that I am covered - not just registered.

Oy vey. I bet they secretly laugh about all the people they send away for such ridiculous reasons.

Goodbye Warmth

2007-10-17T18:12:00.000+02:00

So the past few days here have been gorgeous - sunny and warm (relatively speaking - it was mid-60s!).

I checked the weather today - tomorrow it will rain all day, followed by a plummeting of temperatures.

The highs for the next few days:
Today (Wednesday): 68
Thursday: 47
Friday: 43
Saturday: 43
Sunday: 41

Brr.

Strike 5

2007-10-15T22:47:00.000+02:00

They say music is a universal language, but apparently the language of oboe doesn't translate.

I had my audition today with the university orchestra. There was one spot open and two people auditioning, and I figured that three years of college music major playing experience would hopefully give me a leg up on the non music major competition.

The audition came and went, and considering the circumstances (i.e. just moving to a foreign country and not having a lot of practice opportunities amidst the chaos) I played decently and I was satisfied. It was a weird setting - there were approximately 20 people sitting in the room listening to my audition.

Just a few minutes ago I got an email from the orchestra - summarized and translated, this is what it said:

"We're sorry to inform you that you didn't make the orchestra. As you well know, the American and German concepts of oboe tone are very different, and we feel that your tone will not blend in with this oboe section in the orchestra. It was a decision purely based on tone, not playing ability."

So there it is. The Technology University of Dresden Campus Orchestra, at a university without a music school, doesn't want me because I play like an American oboe player (imagine that). So now what are my options for decent ensembles if this orchestra won't even take me? I don't take it personally at all, and that's what makes it worse. It would have been easier to stomach if they said I didn't play well or the other guy outplayed me, but it is just because of cultural differences in the concept of sound.

Luckily I happened to meet the concertmaster of the Dresden Philharmonic Orchestra today because he happens to be a Rotarian. I'll call him tomorrow and ask him about options. In addition, according to my music pedagogy professor they're gonna work it out so I can take classes at the Musikhochschule, but as of now no one has actually contacted me about it. Assuming that works, I'll see if I can get another foot in the door there.

But right now, I'm really not happy.

God Bless America(ns)

2007-10-14T23:31:00.000+02:00

I had a great weekend. I deliberately forgot all about the mayhem from school for three days and made a distinct effort to just enjoy myself in the city, relax, and have fun. It worked!

I went to Ikea, walked ALL OVER the city, ate lunch at a cafe on the river, got myself acquainted with stuff. Sunday I slept late, read some, and watched some "tv" (the internet is a great tool).

But I think the greatest thing that has happened since Thursday is I now have friends! That's right - and a lot of them too.

I met this kid Jordan at the first international student meeting - we happened to randomly sit next to each other, struck up a conversation (in German of course), and it turns out he's from Pittsburgh and goes to Clemson - at which point we promptly stopped speaking German and resorted to our mother tongue. He is on a DAAD scholarship, which means he's kind of in the same boat I am - on his own and here for a year. A few days later he found me on Facebook, and thus became the only person I have seen/talked to more than once.

Jordan happened to be placed in the international dorm with all the kids on the exchange program from Boston University - there's 30 of them, here for 4.5 months, taking classes in English and not really at the university - because none of them speak German. Friday night Jordan invited me to go out with this group of people, and it was wonderful. (It's very interesting - they are jealous of the fact that I speak German and have the opportunity to meet other non-American people, but I am jealous of the fact that they're here together and have each other.)

Every single person who was with us that night was so excited to meet me, made an effort to have a one-on-one conversation with me, exchanged emails and cell phone numbers, and made plans to see me again. They have two "counselors" with their group who told me to call them if I ever needed anything (but I don't know how much they can do with the university because they're not really affiliated).

They also have a Sunday-night ritual to go to an "American" bar every Sunday night because they show NFL football - Jordan and I went by ourselves last week because they were all out of town, but several of them came this Sunday night. I have plans to see them on Tuesday too! I don't want to be one of those international students who comes here and just makes friends with other Americans, but right now it's really good to know that this whole group of people exists and they want me to feel comfortable here.

Germans are very introverted people and are very hard to meet or have initial conversations with, or to try to see again. I know I will make friends in time, especially once I actually have classes to go to, but it felt really good not to have to pretend I also have an introverted personality in order to meet these people. I don't feel "myself" when I speak German - I feel like I'm pretending to be somebody I'm not and I am only telling half-truths. I know that will also improve with time as I get more comfortable with expressing myself in the language, but it's a weird concept that never crossed my mind before I started only speaking German. We'll see.

But as far as this week goes - I get to go to my first Rotary meeting tomorrow! And still no response from the second round of emails I sent, and it's getting almost too late to do anything about all of that, because this week classes really START. *shrugs shoulders* Not really anything else I can do....

Musicians > Bureaucracy

2007-10-11T23:41:00.000+02:00

That is the lesson I learned today. It had the potential to be another disastrous day, but I have now learned to sidestep all the "official" people who are "supposed" to give me answers and advice, and know that musicians take care of their own.

My day started at the Musikhochschule in an effort to find out how to fix my broken oboe (and see if I could get my foot in the door). The problem is, and the reason I ended up at this university in the first place, is I found out too late that the School of Music is its own separate entity, not affiliated with the university, and my scholarship is for the university. But I needed an excuse to show up, and a legitimately non-functioning oboe is a good reason.

(It's having a temper tantrum because of the climate change I bet....the pads won't seal and I think it's because of the sudden cold and dry air here. How convenient, especially when I have an audition on Monday!)

But back to the story - I got there this morning and just wandered the halls for a long time, remembering what it feels like to be in a music school, and promised myself I would try every avenue to somehow become associated with this place. I asked the secretary where I could find the oboe professors (they have 4!); she said no one was in at this time but I could come back between 4-6 and someone would be here. Cool.

I then headed to "my own" school to meet with another Rotarian professor who said he'd help me make heads or tails of this mess called taking classes. He said he'd be in his office between 11-2. I came at 12:45, his secretary said he was gone for the day.

Next I went to the International office to speak with the lady who hadn't emailed me back yet. They had open office hours this afternoon, so someone should have been there. Unfortunately the lady I wanted to talk to was out sick today. I talked to someone else, and she said that this office couldn't really help anyway, so she suggested I talk to the student adviser in my department. I told her I tried and it was worthless.

I had an appointment at 2:30 with the music pedagogy professor, and thankfully she was there and I had a great meeting with her. I thanked her about two dozen times and told her she was the only professor who had responded and shown up when she promised, and made sure to let her know how much I appreciated it. She sat with me for about half an hour, talking about options, classes of hers I could take, how things work, and more people to talk to. That's what I needed about a week ago - but unfortunately she could only answer specific questions about her own department, so I have to go talk to different professors to find out about music history and education stuff.

Apparently, up until last year there was a full-size music education program at the university - but the professor left and they never replaced him, but all the students were still here - so she's really not a full professor, she just teaches all the classes. But........the good (hopefully) news is that they have a partnership with the Musikhochschule so that their students can take some ed classes there - she gave me a name of a person to contact to ask. That would be great. I emailed him this afternoon.

Excited and high-spirited from this meeting, I headed back to the Musikhochschule (it's about 25 minutes away by streetcar, unfortunately not close to campus). The secretary directed me to where the oboe teacher was. I found the room, knocked, and a man holding an oboe answered (always good!), but he was in the middle of teaching a lesson. I immediately apologized like crazy and said I'd come back later, but he said "no, no! Come inside! What can I do for you?"

I told him my situation and how I had no idea where to go except to come here, and he said "well of course I'll help you. Go ahead and get out your oboe and we'll take a look...while your reed is soaking do you mind if the student and I finish working on this passage?" (Are you kidding? It's her lesson! She was absolutely phenomenal, by the way.)

Sure enough, he couldn't fix the problem, but told me where I should bring it to get it fixed. He was lovely and chatted with me for a while, as long as he really could while putting this girl's lesson on pause. I wanted to ask him about lessons (I don't really care who teaches me, just as long as I can have one every now and then) and playing opportunities, but this wasn't the time. But now I've established a contact and I can follow up on it soon!

Like I said, musicians take care of their own.

At this point, I have seriously emailed every single person I can think of or who has been recommended to me, and the ball is in their court. If all else fails, I can take music history and a few pedagogy classes and call it a day. Classes only meet once a week here, for an hour and a half each, so keep that in mind while imagining my schedule.

I think I deserve a break. I have decided I am intentionally ignoring school tomorrow and spending the three-day weekend having fun exploring the city and going to Ikea. :-)

Strike 4

2007-10-10T10:28:00.000+02:00

I just got back from what I thought was going to be a music history class. I was really excited about it, because it was the only class I knew I was allowed to take and I knew what it was, plus I had planned on cornering the professor after class to talk about all this other stuff and see if I could get some help.

Class was set to start at 9:20. I got there a little after 9, sat down in the room, and waited. And waited. And no one came. Finally a girl stuck her head in the room and said "oh, are you here for the music history class? Those lectures don't start til next week." I asked her how she knew; she said there was a bulletin board upstairs that had it all listed.

I'm so glad I am finding all this information in adequate time to actually DO something about it. Not.

I guess you're wondering what strikes 2 and 3 were. They were the two classes I attempted to attend yesterday, both of which were completely inappropriate for me, and both of which I was supposed to sign up for last week, neither of which I knew before I got in the door. Class 1 was a "just for fun" class - "Influence of Jazz and Blues in African-American Literature." Yeah....but when you're an American musician in a room full of German literature students who are trying to study American music, it's not as fun as it sounds. The class is taught in English but none of them speak it very well, so a lot of the time was me being puzzled trying to figure out what the people were trying to say, even though it was in my native language. I made a couple comments during class discussion, but I didn't speak enough to give away my lack of accent and the fact that I'm American. I'll admit, they speak English better than I speak German, but if they won't sit in on my German classes I won't sit in on their English classes. I also noticed a lot of interesting cultural stuff about how they seem to view the black/white relationship in the US, but I'll post about that another time.

Class 2 was an education class - I emailed the professor the day before asking if I could attend, but I hadn't heard from her, but I decided to just go anyway. It was a freshman intro seminar in a lecture class, so I figured I couldn't go wrong. But then when I got there, the teacher called roll, then called another list of names of everyone on the "waiting list," and said if we weren't on either one of those lists then there wasn't room for us in the class, too bad so sad. So I, along with about 20 more people, just got up and left. She has an email in her inbox from me, whether or not she chooses to read it and respond to it.

Still no word from the other professors and people I emailed, either. I do have an appointment with the music pedagogy professor on Thursday, and am trying to make an appointment with someone in the international office whenever she responds to my email. I have attempted to go to 4 classes in 3 days and none of them have been the right classes or the right times - I obviously need help, but I can't find someone who will help me.

The sun will come out tomorrow

2007-10-08T23:53:00.000+02:00

Ok....feeling a little better. I just spent the past several hours researching, reading, sending emails, making lists, and devising plans. A few days ago, a few hours ago, I didn't even know where to start, but I think I'm starting to at least figure out how to tackle it all. That's the first step.

I had some good pep talks and some good words of encouragement and some good reality checks and I'm armed and ready for Day 2. I'm not going down without a fight.

Day 1 Part 2

2007-10-08T19:52:00.000+02:00

Even though class #1 was a bust, I was able to get a map, hop on a bus, and make it to class #2. It was way out there, and not entirely in the direction I had headed in earlier, so no wonder I was so lost. But now I have found this complex and won't have to search for it again.

So class #2, really class #1, was entitled "musical influence in cultural studies." It is a class that I would love...if it were taught in English. There were about 25-30 people in the class - they all knew each other, and the professor knew all of them - except me. I prayed he wouldn't single me out and ask me questions, because I knew right from the start I didn't belong in that class. The students here were at the end of their bachelors or into their masters degrees; yes I know I am technically a senior in college, but I don't think I can handle this upper-level coursework in another language. There was a LOT of reading on the syllabus and I think I would make myself crazy trying to keep up. In addition, there was a prerequisite taught last semester that was an introduction to this subject area, and this class was a more in-depth look into last semester's introduction. I don't think I'll be going back to that class.

See....since there aren't really any records, from what I can gather, of which classes I take, my strategy was to just go to a bunch of them this first week and see what is interesting enough to keep going to.

But anyway - I'd picked out another class this afternoon, on the view of education as reflected in the media, but I decided it would probably be like this one and I was too exhausted to try again. After sitting through that first class I changed my strategy - I think I will re-take music history I, and maybe re-take theory III. I already know the material, so I can focus more on learning the language and comparing how it's taught in two different settings. Plus, the review will probably do me good.

I checked the bulletin board for the music pedagogy area, and found out that they had already had separate sign-ups for their classes - last week. I need to email the professor and see what I can work out. Hopefully I will be a little more comfortable in that subject area.

Next on the list was to go to a meeting for the international student office, that was a continuation of last week's orientation. I had my piece of paper with the information about the meeting, went to the building I thought it was in, went to the room I was supposed to, but it definitely wasn't the international student meeting. There were just a bunch of German guys sitting around and talking, rather than a room full of international students that I recognized from last week. I have no idea what happened, but I never did figure it out and never did get to that meeting.

I've decided I need to storm the international office tomorrow and refuse to leave until they give me answers. I need to know so much about what I'm doing here and no one has bothered to make sure we have all the information we need. How many classes is a "full load?" How do they keep up with our grades and classes? What should we expect from the end of semester tests? Does it even apply to me? How do I know which classes I'm "allowed" to take, and am I "allowed" to take classes outside my subject area? Even within my subject area, how do I know what classes are available and don't need prerequisites, like this morning? What's the difference between a seminar and a class? What, if anything, are the attendance policies? What do all these symbols and codes mean all over the course lists (just telling me the word the symbol stands for doesn't help...describe to me what it means in reality)?

Shouldn't all of these things been told to us in orientation?

But the good news is, I found out there is a campus orchestra, and I can audition next Monday. Now I just need to find a place to practice - easier said than done.

Day 1 Part 1

2007-10-08T11:32:00.001+02:00

So right now I'm sitting on the steps to some big building/auditorium on campus...I don't really know what it is. I should be sitting in class right now.

After scrutinizing my schedule and deciding last night on the classes I was going to try out this week, my first class was to start today at 11:10. It was an education class, and luckily the education and music departments are near each other - but nowhere close to campus. They're on their own little area several blocks away.

I had to force myself out the door this morning because I was terrified and really didn't want to go. I finally got up the courage, and gathered my things to head out. It takes me about 10 minutes to walk to campus, so this morning I allotted myself 40 minutes to walk to this place, look around a bit, and figure out where I was going before my class began. I got to the main campus, the point at which I didn't know where I was going anymore, and reached in my pocket to get my map - and realized that somewhere between my apartment and that street corner my map had fallen out of my pocket - in addition to the piece of paper where I had written down all of my classes, room numbers, times, and professors, in addition to the professors' office hours for whom I wanted to talk to today. Awesome.

I hoped I would be able to find this place anyway, because I had found it on the map and had a general idea of where it was, so I just kept walking. It soon became very obvious that I'd missed a sidestreet somewhere, I was way out of the way, and there was no one else out on the street for me to ask and even if I could find it, I was going to miss my class anyway.

So now I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do. Some of the information was saved on my computer, so I can get that, but some of it wasn't. I can go to the international office and get another map so I can find these buildings, and just hope to everything holy that this day starts getting better soon.

Too Bizzare to Think of a Creative Title

2007-10-07T10:47:00.001+02:00

I stayed up a little late last night "watching" the Dawgs game (i.e. reading the play-by-play online) and acting out/describing in broken German the concept of American football to my roommate Phillip.

Once I finally got in bed, it was unusually noisy outside because there's a student club on the bottom corner of this building. As I drifted off to sleep I thought I heard sirens, but I am a heavy sleeper, so I didn't think anything of it.

Later (I don't know how much) I was halfway awoken by a knock on my door, I think. It didn't get me all the way up, but I rolled over a few times and realized that there was still a lot of noise outside and what sounded like big trucks sitting outside my window, and flashing lights, and I thought I heard my roommates talking and saying "she's still asleep!" My heart started pounding. I looked outside and there are several fire trucks sitting there, and all I could see was smoke coming from somewhere at the bottom of the building.

I opened the door to my room, and the lights in the rest of the apartment were on but I didn't see or hear anybody. My first reaction was "oh #@$% did I sleep through ANOTHER fire alarm?" and like the good American I am, I threw on a sweatshirt, grabbed my shoes, and headed toward the exit to evacuate the building.

As I opened the door from my apartment into the hall I was immediately met by three suited and masked firemen and a hall completely full of smoke. I was expecting to get whisked away and taken outside into safety, but to my surprise they told me to go back inside and shut the door. So much for my years of fire drill training.

I then realized that our own apartment too smelled like smoke and our own kitchen was a little hazy, and on my way back inside I realized that Phillip was definitely sitting in his room the whole time. I told him about my encounter with the firemen and asked him if he knew what was going on or what we should do, and we decided that as long as they were telling us to stay here we must not be in danger, so I shrugged my shoulders and went back to bed.

By this time it was pushing 2:30, and I have no idea what time they finished and I haven't heard anything about what happened. All I know is that this morning our kitchen still smelled smoky and from my window I can see red tape outside blocking off the area. Hmm.

I've got to admit it's getting better

2007-10-05T10:36:00.001+02:00

So since my last update, things have been a little more up and down but mostly on the upward slope. I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and although nothing has gone RIGHT yet, at least nothing else has gone WRONG. I have been told that I can finally get internet today, so after five weeks of unreliable connections I will finally have my own!! I’ll put up more pictures when I have a better signal too, because it won’t take so long to load.

(By the way the problem with pirating a wifi signal from my window means that right before I began to type this it began to rain, so I had to wait until the rain stopped to actually post it. The weather had been warm and sunny, so I had been able to use it, but sadly not today.)

I went to my international student orientation yesterday, and sadly it was exactly what I anticipated – completely unenlightening. I have concluded that the problem I am encountering is yet another cultural difference. The Germans only explain the simple base amount of information without providing details, but Americans like everything explained and every detail spelled out. In addition, the university systems are so different that they don’t realize that they have to give us (me) these details they may find insignificant and self-explanatory, but then it results in making me feel lost and in the dark.

For instance – no one has actually told us how to register for classes and get grades. From what I understand, I just look up what classes I want in the course registry and just show up. There is no registrar’s office or OASIS system to keep track of who is where, and I can’t find any information that tells me otherwise. And I think grades are only given once a semester, sometimes, for an end-of-course project – but not every class has one of these projects, I don’t think. I don’t really know. I bought my course registry yesterday (for 4.50! geez!) and will sit down with it today and really figure out what I’m doing. I don’t even know what a “full load” of classes is considered to be. I’m just worried that because things are so loose, I won’t find out that there is something specific I actually need to do until too late.

In addition, I finally have some roommates, as of 7pm yesterday! There is a girl from Korea who speaks no German and no English, and I don’t speak Korean, so we’ll see how that goes. She seems very nice, and she’s not actually studying at the university – she’s just taking a 6-month language course. Good. There’s a guy next to me who is “real” German and he’s my age, and he seems nice so far too. He and I chatted for a while last night and he showed me where all the stuff is and how to recycle all the trash. The Germans use this cool water-boiling contraption – it’s a pitcher that plugs into an outlet and heats up water for tea. I don’t know the name of it, but I pointed to it and asked if I was allowed to use it. He said “of course, sure – but out of curiosity, what’s it called in English?” I told him we didn’t have things like that, we use tea kettles to heat water, and he said “wow, but don’t tea kettles use way too much energy?” I love how they’re so concerned with all of that.

Apparently there are 2 more roommates on the way who will be here this weekend – another guy and a girl from Poland, both of whom lived here last year. The guy who’s here already said they’re cool people, so I sure hope so!

Room’s coming along ok. My suitcases are unpacked and everything’s put away, for the most part. I finally bought towels yesterday (I’d been using one of those microfiber camping towels since Monday), but I still need curtains and rugs and colorful things so it doesn’t look like a prison cell. Also, I need to buy a mirror – yes there is one in my room, and one in my bathroom, but in neither one can I see myself above my nose.

I still don’t know what I’m doing today or this weekend, either. I don’t have a whole lot to do at this point, and so much is contingent on the weather – for instance I chose to stay inside this morning, drink coffee, and type emails in my pajamas rather than venture out and get caught in the cold and the rain. I do think I will be social, though, and attend some of the international student events that are happening tonight and tomorrow.

Depending on who you are and when you’ve most recently talked to me, you’ve probably gotten very up-and-down reports of how I’m actually feeling and doing. But as of 10:15 on Friday morning, morale’s on its way back up. Doug was absolutely right when he said “If you think about it, it's good you have something to miss.”

And by the time this gets posted my Grandma will be on her way to Atlanta and everyone in my family will be headed to Las Vegas without me. Happy birthday Uncle Steve!

German American Football and Sightseeing with a Rotarian and a 6-year-old

2007-10-05T10:36:00.000+02:00

Wednesday was a national holiday, but Mark and Chris played in a – get this – American Football game. They invited me to go but said “well you probably won’t be interested…it’s not anything like the pictures you’ve showed us, it’s not a big deal, the teams aren’t good…” and I responded by saying “are you crazy?? It’s football! Because I’ve been over here I haven’t seen a football game since last season, and I’m going through withdrawal!”

So I gladly came along. It was a youth league, so of course the kids are small and the stadium is small, but it was funny because the game is still so new over here that a lot of the fans didn’t really know what was going on. Clemens and Monika kept asking me questions about the calls (“what is a block in the back?” “what does that signal mean that the ref just made?” “why did they make them back up 5 yards?”), and were absolutely astounded and excited at the concept of a 2-point conversion. They even had recorded textbook explanations of some penalties/calls that were played over the loudspeakers, so the crowd would know what was going on. All in all, it was great.

I also received word from another American I met a few days ago that there’s a group of Americans here who meet every Sunday at 6pm to go to an American pub and watch football. I’m so there.

After the game, I met up with the Rotarian (Wolfgang), Miname, and Wolfgang’s 6-year-old son Tom to go see the sights of the city. We went to this panorama thing kind of like Atlanta’s Cyclorama, a pretty castle on the river, and drove around a little bit. We then went back to their house to cook dinner. Wolfgang’s wife was out of town on a business trip and Tom was excited for the new playmates, and especially excited at the fact that I speak English, and Miname and I were glad for the company, so it all worked out great.

Wolfgang is a professor at the university, but is on sabbatical this semester to finish up a research grant. He’s pretty much a genius, and has a degree from Harvard and is a guest professor at Columbia. And he’s incredibly nice and is technically located within my department at the university, so he’ll be a good contact to have. At least he can hopefully help me figure out this mess of getting settled.

My Host Family

2007-10-05T10:35:00.000+02:00

Ok, finally time to tell you about my host family and some of the good things that have been going on!

My family is great. They consist of my actual host counselor Rotarian, Clemens, his wife Monika, and their three kids – Carin (20), Mark (19), and Chris (15). Carin is a student at another university about an hour away, but she was in town this weekend so I got to meet her. She majors in German and English and lived in New Zealand for 6 months in high school. Mark just graduated high school but has to do one year of mandatory army service before going to college (it’s a German law), and he also lived in Canada for one year in high school. He’s your typical pretty boy jock, but he’s cool. Chris is still in high school and just doing his thing.

Clemens and Monika both work in the financial world, doing something or other with all that. Clemens works at the savings bank, and I’m actually not quite sure about Monika. Their house is absolutely gorgeous, and quite enormous, and – they have riverfront property. The Elbe River runs through Dresden, and it’s breathtakingly gorgeous, and this family lives on the river. They also have the property bordering a ferry that goes 2 minutes across the river to a castle and a vineyard, so it takes approximately 5 minutes to get to this castle. It’s pretty much amazing.

This weekend Clemens and Monika took me around and showed me all the nature stuff around the outskirts of the city, including the aforementioned castle and vineyard. We climbed a couple mountains and saw some beautiful and tiny little villages. We shared American and German music, and showed each other pictures of home, vacations, and family. I was totally fine with the language and we laughed a lot as I figured out how to say things better or not as awkwardly, or how to correctly respond to things.

Tuesday night Clemens took me along to a meeting at the Savings Bank, where they had a guest speaker who is a tv news reporter who spent a long time in China. When he found out I had been there too he got excited and said “of course you have to come with me to this meeting!” It was interesting, and I understood about 75% of it, except I was sick with a cold and awfully drowsy through it all. There was a huge buffet afterward, so I got to brush shoulders with all the big wigs of the company and attempt to keep up with conversation. It went pretty well, and the men were nice and understanding. I met another Rotarian who is also a professor at the university (but I couldn’t figure out what he was doing at this meeting), and he invited Miname (the other Rotary student here) and me to some sightseeing and stuff the next day. I broke it up into two posts for easier reading, so keep going! ---->

I'm alive!!

2007-10-03T11:42:00.001+02:00

So again I am stuck with no internet, and am literally hanging out the window of my apartment in order to get a weak signal. I just wanted to let you know that I am alive, even though it's been a while since I've posted and all that jazz. Hopefully the internet thing will be fixed soon, but until then I have been keeping up with what I've been doing in a Word document, so now all I have to do is copy/paste.

But before I do that, I will briefly say that my host family is amazing and I love them, and I totally hit the jackpot with them. At a later date I will post info about them, but I don't have any of that pre-typed - so it will have to wait until I'm not hanging out of a window.
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Day One at the University - they should call this place "dead end alley"

On task for today was register for housing, move into my dorm, and enroll for the semester. Mark was nice enough to come to campus with me and help me do all this stuff, just in case I needed someone to translate and explain stuff or whatnot. It was also great to have the company and have someone there to stand in line with me so I wasn’t completely on my own.

We got to the Studentenwerk (the “student organization,” kind of like the Food Services, Housing, Student Government, and whatever else all combined into one) a little before 10, and it was a madhouse. We then realized that they were only calling German students, and didn’t even start serving the international students until every German student had already been helped – not until almost 11:00. Needless to say I was slightly irritated – if they weren’t going to call us until t 11 they should have told us to come at 11, not give us a window starting at 9:00 - but there were dozens of international students there in the same boat. Once we were called back to talk to somebody we were met with another line – awfully anticlimactic, because this lady asked “do you want to buy the bedding/kitchen starter kits? Yes? Ok good, now go upstairs and pay your housing deposit and money for the kits, and come back down here.”

Then, yep – another line. This time it was to get to the cashier desk, because they only had two cashiers working for hundreds of ready-to-pay students. After I paid I went back downstairs to the first lady, signed the rental contract, and went on my merry way. Wait time: almost 3 hours. Time spent interacting with people: 5 minutes. No exaggeration.

Next, we went to my building to put a few things in there before going to matriculation. I have had a slight problem with the Germans thinking I am a man, because apparently the name “Robin” is exclusively a man’s name over here, and most emails I receive are addressed to “Mr. Sch@ps” until I respond and drop hints that I am female. This had happened also with the housing people, and I had hoped that they would just read the form where I checked “female” and put me in the right place. Unfortunately all the paperwork I got today said “Mr. Robin Sch@ps,” and honestly I don’t know yet if I am in the right place or not. None of the people who live in this apartment are here yet, or at least they haven’t surfaced yet and I haven’t heard them – but the kitchen is full and it is obvious that people do live here. By the way it’s “decorated” and by the names on the mailboxes, I am concluding that it is mostly, if not completely, male-inhabited.

But then I found out that some of these apartments are in fact co-ed, so I don’t really know what this situation is.

But let me tell you how awkward this place is – I feel like I’m moving into someone else’s house while they’re on vacation…I guess because that’s exactly what I’m doing. I don’t know how they share kitchen stuff and what I’m allowed to use, what space is mine, how they divvy up goods and space, etc – but no one’s here to tell me otherwise, and I don’t want to tread on anyone’s toes when they return to find this random new American girl suddenly inhabiting their apartment. The room itself is nice – it is very big by UGA standards, probably just as big if not a little bigger than my own apartment was, and I have it all to myself. I have a desk, a floor-to-ceiling shelf, a wardrobe (outside of the room so it doesn’t take up more space), a night table, and of course a bed. It is very cold and stark and badly in need of decorations, but that will come in time. It is definitely livable.

So back to the story – next item on the list was matriculation/enrollment for the semester. I had my piece of paper that told me to go to XYZ building from 9-3, and bring my admissions letter and passport, so that’s what we did. We waited in line, again, and when I sat down at the desk and handed the lady my papers, she said “ok so where’s your health insurance certificate?” I told her I hadn’t bought it yet, I had just gotten to Dresden and hadn’t done it yet, and she told me I couldn’t enroll without this certificate. I told her ok, fine, but why didn’t it say that on the sheet, so I could have taken care of it before I came to the office? She didn’t have an answer for me other than “well I’m sure it said it on another sheet” (it didn’t – I checked all my paperwork afterward), so there was nothing else to do except go back downstairs. By this point Monika had left work and came to meet us, so she went with me to talk to the people to find out 1) if I needed this insurance in the first place because I already have insurance that Rotary required, 2) if I do need it where can I buy it, and 3) why the bloody hell didn’t it say it on the sheet? (Ok so maybe I added that last one).

We ended up buying their insurance plan because it sure enough is required for all students, at an extra 55 euros a month, and went back upstairs to the same lady to finally enroll. She took the certificate, gave me the paper, and said “ok great, but it’s too late today - you have to come back tomorrow at 2 to finish the process.” What time was it at this point? 2:15pm. What time did my sheet say registration ended today? 3pm.

I am suddenly learning that even though I had studied all my paperwork through and through to make sure I remembered and understood everything, even if it says so on paper it doesn’t necessarily mean it is true. So much for trying to be prepared.

Monika and Mark took me back to the dorm, and after getting settled in a little bit I did a quick grocery shopping trip and surveillance of the area. I made sure to return by 6 because that was when the internet guy was supposed to be available, because signing up to get internet is an entirely separate process as well. 6:05 I was there knocking on the door, and no answer. I returned every 15 minutes, and at 6:45 I met two other people trying to reach him too. This time someone finally answered the door, but it turned out that the guy was out of town and wouldn’t return until tomorrow, but we should try some other guy somewhere else in the building.

So we headed off to find this other guy, only to find a note on his door saying he was out and people needing internet should return that night. The three of us decided to meet back at 9 and try again together. When we finally got in touch with him, he told us he couldn’t help us because we live in a different part of the building and he only has access to a certain part. So much for that, but what’s the difference to go ANOTHER day without internet when I’ve done it for over a month already! It’s just another city where I don’t know anyone and don’t have any means to access to anyone I do know.

But the good news is, those two people and I ended up hanging out and chatting for a while after the internet fiasco. They are both first year students and are very nice, and I really didn’t have any problems at all with the language. They were very nice and told me I actually speak very well – but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m still terrified.
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Day Two of the University – more dead ends

This morning I headed to the residence office to officially register myself as a resident of Dresden. Monika drew me a map of where it was, and as I was about halfway there it started to rain – and I was umbrella-less. They were doing construction on the building so I missed the sign, but I finally found it and got myself registered. The lady was nice, and after I was done she told me to go upstairs to the international office to finish the process.

So I headed upstairs to the office, waited in line, and finally was called back to see the angry and irritated secretary. I told her I had just been to the residence office and gave her all my paperwork, that I had painstakingly gone through and made sure everything was there and everything was correct and in the right order, only to have her stare at me blankly and tell me she couldn’t do anything for me today. Apparently they can’t process all the paperwork the same day, so I have to come back Thursday so the residence papers will have time to be processed. (So why did the first lady send me here?) Oh, and by the way, all the passport photos I got made in the States won’t work here because they are not zoomed in close enough to my head – apparently German standards are different than in the US. So the 10 photos I had made before I came….unusable, at least for this office. Now I have to get more made before I can get my visa.
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ok that's all I had pre-typed, but I got registered and have my student ID, and today's a national holiday (their version of July 4) so nothing will happen toward getting myself more settled in at the university. Hopefully I will get my own internet soon, but now at least I know I can hang out the window and get something!

And by the way, I don't know what my teacher was talking about when she said that daylight savings time ended this weekend. It definitely doesn't change until the end of October.

It's always something

2007-10-03T11:41:00.000+02:00

In the words of my dad, it’s always something.

My day of travel began at 6:15 this morning when Ashlee and Jeff came knocking on my door. The bus to the airport was set to depart at 6:22, and they wonderfully volunteered to come to the airport with me to see me off.

6:15, and they helped me stay sane and gather all my stuff and throw it into suitcases. I was thoroughly freaking out because I was terribly worried about suitcases being to heavy and me not clearing the weight limit for intra-Germany domestic flights. Then I was worried about making the 6:22 bus, but luckily we got to the bus stop just as it pulled up. Whew.

Now would be the opportunity to tell you about what happened to suitcase #2 and why I was so worried. On the way over here I was allotted 2 checked bags, weighing 50lbs each, and then I found out when I got to the airport that they weighed my carry-on bag too (but conveniently forgot to notice that I had a backpack too – I don’t think I was “supposed” to have it, because I was the only one who had two bags). I have been really careful since I arrived about not buying any “stuff” if I can help it, because I knew I’d be pushing the weight limit again, but having emptier bottles of shampoo, etc and wearing heavier clothing should allow me to scrape by.

Thursday afternoon I found out that intra-Germany flights have different regulations than international flights. Rather than 2 bags weighing 23 kilos (50lbs) each, I was only allowed one bag at 20 kilos (44 lbs). Anything extra costs 5 euros per kilo – meaning my second bag would cost 125 euros ($175) to take on the plane with me. I checked the price of a train ticket – two days in advance a train ticket would cost 80 euros, and I’d be able to take all my bags with me – but what about this flight that is already booked? Weighing my options (figuratively), I checked how much it would cost to ship a suitcase to Dresden – probably pretty expensive, because it cost 12 euros to send a tiny package to Athens, so sending a gigantic 50-60lb suitcase has got to be crazy.

Actually, the German postal system has a special luggage shipment program. I guess this problem happens a lot. It worked beautifully – I packed my suitcase to the brim, brought it to the post office, they slapped a sticker on it, and for 14 euros it will be at my apartment on Monday. Amazing.

So back to the original story. We made it on the bus ok, but I was a nervous wreck because I was worried they wouldn’t let me on with two carry-ons like last time. I didn’t have a backpack this time, just a messenger bag, but it was relatively heavy with my computer and oboe inside. My bag is black, my jacket is black, I was wearing a red scarf – maybe they won’t notice it? And my carry-on suitcase still has the “Lufthansa approved baggage” tag – maybe they won’t re-weigh it?

We get to the airport, and after 3 different people sent me to 3 different lines, I finally for some reason ended up at the “special services” counter. They weighed my one bag and it was fine, gave me my boarding pass, and said “have a nice day!” Never even asked about my carry-ons.

Nothing more eventful happened on the flight, and I made it to Dresden safe and sound!

Travel Plans

2007-09-27T17:32:00.000+02:00

In case you’re keeping score at home, here’s the nitty gritty for my journey this weekend:

Rotary booked me a flight from Frankfurt to Dresden (I’m the only scholar here for whom they did this – everyone else had to find their own train tickets), and I leave at 9am. It’s only an hour flight, subsequently putting me in Dresden at 10am, where I will be met by my host counselor. I will be staying with his family for the weekend until I can move into my dorm Monday morning. He’s married with three kids, ages 15, 18, and 20, so it should be a good weekend and they (at least he) seem like great people. It is such a comfort just to know that someone is there waiting for me on the other end – it makes a huge difference.

Since nothing is ever open on the weekends here, my first two weekdays will be crazy nuts. I have to move into my dorm, open a bank account, register for classes, and apply for my student visa – but I can’t register before I apply for my visa, and I can’t get a bank account before I register, but there’s no telling how long it will take to get a visa. Wednesday is a national holiday, Thursday is international student orientation, I’ll take the weekend to get settled, and then Monday classes begin!

One Month Reflection

2007-09-27T17:31:00.000+02:00

Time to leave Frankfurt. That means that this coming Saturday I will have been in Germany for one month. It has definitely been the hardest month of my life, with plenty of ups and downs and learning experiences as I have truly had to rely only on myself as I begin to navigate and live in this foreign country. It’s only been one month, but I feel like I have been here a year already.

It has been a transition month to ease me into the real deal, which begins when I set foot in Dresden. Although I have physically been in Germany, all my friends thus far are Americans with varying levels of German proficiency, so we all speak English because it is less awkward among us all. I have been speaking more English than I will speak in the next ten months, even though right now I am speaking German more often than I ever have in my life. It is nothing compared to what is coming up, and I can pretty much kiss the English language goodbye starting Saturday, except to communicate with you fine people. “They” say it takes three months to totally acclimate yourself to a language, so I estimate Christmastime will be when I finally speak naturally (or at least more so than now).

There has been a lot of pressure to travel a lot now (I think we have put it on ourselves), while we still have the chance and we’re still not busy, but very few of us have actually gone notable places thus far. At this point my biggest urge was to just get settled and feel comfortable here before I start learning and exploring even more places, so that’s what I did. Who knows – when I get ready to end this year I may look back on this month as a missed opportunity to do more things and go more places- but for now I’m glad I have eased myself into things.

I can navigate the train system, correctly order food in restaurants and chat with store clerks, and function enough to get by. I can understand TV shows and generally process newspapers. After nine years of classroom language instruction my practical everyday skills are lacking according to my standards for myself, which has been a point of frustration for me. This month has also been just more classroom instruction with very little application. I’m tired of grammar worksheets and vocabulary lists, and I’m ready to use what I’m learning in a “real” setting. On the other hand, I am so unbelievably grateful to my beginning German teachers, Frau Howe and Frau Schneider. They got me off to a great start, taught things right the first time, and gave me a strong fundamental knowledge of grammar and usage that have been easy to build upon, especially as we have reviewed concepts this month that I haven’t discussed since I sat in their classes in 7th-10th grade - yet still remember their instruction so strongly.

(by the way I have already noticed that my English grammar is getting screwed up as I think more and more in the German style, so if I have long run-on sentences with verbs in funny places, please pardon me!)

Without a doubt, the hardest thing about this month was the almost cold turkey of communication with the States. I won’t lie, most of this month I was extremely homesick and only mildly content with the state of things, but I know it would have been easier had I had a steady internet connection or any way to have access to people I care about. It was hard not to have constant access to the people I was used to seeing and talking to on a regular basis. Mom asked me the other day if I was getting enough sleep at night (what a mom question to ask hehe), and my response was “I don’t have internet, phone, or cable tv – there’s nothing else better to do!” I loathed the waiting until Monday (or paying at the internet café) to check the Dawgs score, and having little allotments of internet time per day but a huge list of things I needed to do and people to email, and only having Skype access in the café and a crowded lobby and only at certain times of day, and having a cell phone that only calls 2 people (whom I spend all day every day with, so it doesn’t really matter) and can’t make or receive calls to anyone I wanted. I have four friends in this city, and although they are wonderful people, we can only do so much for each other, and only for so long.

For a billion reasons, everything will be better in Dresden. Starting with the most obvious, I will have stable internet. I will be able to settle down in a place and stay there, and know that the friends I make will be around for more than a few weeks – and also I will be in a situation that is conducive to making friends and meeting people, which was so opposite from here. I will have a host counselor and an entire Rotary club that I know will help me and with whom I can’t wait to be involved. I will be able to play my oboe again (hopefully!), and will return to studying music and learning language, instead of just studying language.

It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed my time in Frankfurt – it’s a gorgeous city with a lot of culture and interesting facets, and the wonderful contrast between traditional and modern. It is an international city (25% of the population is not German) and has made for a good transition, and it gave me the experience of getting to know more than one city in my tenure here. I was thrilled to spend the month bonding with other Rotary students, and have that circle to experience these transitions together and compare notes for the future. I don’t even want to think what it would have been like if I had arrived to Germany now, and experienced this rough transition and assimilation period while also starting classes and getting into the university life. As much as I feel like I still have to learn, I know I learned a whole great big bunch this month and I am grateful for this time of cushioning.

More About those Crazy Germans

2007-09-26T17:30:00.000+02:00

Even though Germany is a completely civilized and “western” country, it still has plenty of dramatic cultural differences that have been hard for me to adjust to. I have chronicled several of them already (including the post before this), and there will continue to be dozens more as I navigate further.

I have a love-hate relationship with public transportation (at least now while I have an American mind frame). Now is the first time in my +16 life that I haven’t had a car, but it’s also the first time I have not needed one. The transportation system is thorough and regular enough that it is completely possible to get everywhere without cars, but my impatient American perspective comes in when I look at my watch when I go from place to place and realize it takes 45-60 minutes to go a distance I could drive in 20. I’m sure I will settle down and relax soon enough.

At these street festivals I have spoken of, and several other streetside restaurants, food and drink is served in dishes and glassware instead of the American plastic tradition. For obvious reasons it is quite economical. The point of mention with this tradition is all these places also charge you a “Pfand,” or deposit, for the dishes, costing about 1 Euro. That way, you get your money back if you return it, but if you don’t bring it back you’ve already paid them for it.

In addition to dishes, we also pay Pfand on all plastic or glass bottles of liquid we buy. As part of Germany’s crazy recycling policies, they charge an extra 25-50 cents on every bottle of water, wine, beer, juice, etc. If you bring the empty bottle back to the store they give you your money back, but if not, the money is lost.

The stereotype of body odor is true. Some people just smell bad. It isn’t so much a suffocating odor from complete lack of deodorant as it is just potent enough to indicate inadequate or insufficient amounts. I know Americans have an obsession with cleanliness and odor (or lack thereof), but there could be worse things to find important!

I have been pleasantly surprised by the friendliness of the older generation of Germans, and how willing and patient they are with us. The younger generation, the teenagers to early thirty-somethings, is for the most part sullen and brooding, or at least not friendly to strangers – or maybe I’m just used to Southern hospitality. I’m sure the attitude will change in the university setting.

In addition, the Germans have a very different sense of humor than Americans. They are very literal people and don’t necessarily enjoy sarcasm or slapstick comedy, which are two things Americans specialize in. While at the film museum last weekend I sat and watched a clip of a Laurel and Hardy type silent film, and the Americans in the audience were hysterically laughing, but everyone else sort of watched quizzically. I have yet to figure out what they DO find funny – it’s just a cultural difference. It is also hard to accept the fact that I don’t know how to tell jokes in German or how to be funny in German.

I figured a way to “cheat” the system for the laundry machines; or maybe that was how they were intended to be used in the first place but the message never was relayed to us. As long as there is little down time between loads, the machines can be restarted on a new cycle without inserting more coins, thus making it 5 euros total, not 5 euros per load.

You have to search hard, but sodium free non-carbonated water in big bottles does exist. If you’re lucky, it exists for 45 cents at the grocery store – otherwise you pay 2 euros for tiny bottles. And it is true, water in restaurants is often more expensive than wine and beer.

It’s true that they don’t provide bags at grocery stores, so you have to bring your own. Groceries are incredibly cheap, though, and I’ve heard it’s even better in the east. They also rarely take credit cards anywhere, meaning that I always have to carry cash – so different from the States, where no one ever has cash and we always pay with cards. It is more secure to use cards, and you always have receipts and paper trails, but then again look at the credit problems people can rack up from always charging everything.

Not a cultural observation, but one of the things I have been most grateful for having has been a sewing kit. Several holes have manifested themselves recently on shirts, pants, and jackets, and I have been so glad to have a sewing kit amongst my stuff.

And the strange one to end it with – Germany does observe daylight savings time too, but guess when we fall back? This weekend. That’s right, for the month of October I will be 7 hours (or 8, or 9 depending on where you are) ahead instead of the normal 6. Then when you fall back, we’ll be back to normal. Whatever!

Is their legal system really better?

2007-09-26T11:16:00.001+02:00

The legal system and healthcare system are also drastically different here, but I have yet to decide if it’s for better or worse. My teacher told us a few stories that left me speechless:

1. My teacher has the national healthcare plan, which pays for care under physicians who belong to this national healthcare system. One of these doctors referred her to a private practitioner, and the insurance company told her they’d cover what they would normally pay a doctor on their plan, and she’d have to cover the rest. After her visit to the doctor, for about 50 minutes of talking/consultation and drawing blood for tests, she was billed 70 euros. Way cheaper than the States, right? The insurance company, true to their word of covering as much as they pay the other doctors, reimbursed her 6 euros.

Costs seem to be lower because they don’t have the same problems with malpractice insurance here as they do at home, as proven by the next story:

2. A few years ago she ended up in the hospital with awful stomach pains, and she suspected it was her appendix. The doctor told her no and sent her to the gynecology department instead. Meanwhile, waiting to see the next doctor, her appendix burst – and it took another seven hours to get her into surgery. Enraged, and rightly so, she decided to sue the hospital. When her lawyer went in search of her medical records, it turned out that the records were lost and nothing was on file anymore. End of story.

Afterward she told this story to an American friend whose brother coincidentally had the same incident happen in the States. He sued – and was awarded 4 million dollars.

But what happens when you actually have the paperwork, and do get the opportunity to take something to court?

3. Returning from a trip, my teacher boarded a train on her way home. The station was dark and the train, for some reason, had the internal lights off and was pitch black inside. She was carrying one suitcase in each hand and tripped over the bike rack on the floor of the train, fell forward, and hit her head – bad. She had a concussion, slipped vertebrae, and severe bruising, and missed 5 weeks of work for recovery. This time, her lawyer said, they’d be able to make a great case. They took it to court and won, and she got a large sum of……..3,000 euros. According to the lawyer she was extremely lucky, because another judge could have said “what’s wrong with you, couldn’t you see that there was a bike rack on the floor?”

Last Frankfurter Weekend and Yom Kippur

2007-09-23T22:18:00.001+02:00

Like plans tend to do, this weekend was full of changing plans. It was our last weekend in Frankfurt, and last weekend to spend with the people I’ve met, and last calm weekend before my life plays fruit-basket-turnover again, so instead of traveling like crazy and seeing a whole bunch of stuff, we kind of played it cool.

The weather was beautiful, and the really cool thing about European culture is they do a lot of stuff outside in the city and just relax and enjoy themselves. Saturday and Sunday we ate lunch on the riverbank, laid in the sun, fed the swans, and unwound. The whole city was out and about because it was so gosh darn gorgeous, including some cool flea markets and lots of people on boats in the river.

I also went to a few museums too; Anna and Raoul bought a 2-day museum pass (Frankfurt has about 15-20 museums on about every subject imaginable, and for 10 euros you can buy a pass to go to them all) and the second day they took me along as their “daughter” as we visited the culture museum, film museum, and architecture museum. I got my culture for the week.

Saturday was Yom Kippur, so I decided to go to the synagogue here. It was my first time in an orthodox synagogue, much less a German orthodox synagogue on Yom Kippur, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Ashlee and the other Anna had never been to a synagogue and wanted to come with me, and I was really happy to bring them along except for the fact that I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.

We went to the Westend Synagogue, the main temple in Frankfurt, and the one whose rabbi was stabbed a few weeks ago. (I haven’t heard anything since the incident, by the way, not even when we were here). I had no idea what time services started, but I had a feeling they started early and people would just show up when they got there, so I chose a nice round time of 10ish to arrive. As I expected, they had policemen out front who searched our bags before we went in. Once cleared we headed inside and upstairs to the women’s section because men and women are separated in orthodox services, and found services to be in full swing but the sanctuary was almost empty.

The inside was breathtaking. The bima and ark are huge with a giant mosaic wall and very ornate edging on everything. All seats are dark wood, and the ark probably had about eight different scrolls. The dome was the highlight, filled with a gradient blue mosaic that made it look twice as high and deep as it really is, and there was a giant crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling of the dome. The original synagogue was destroyed in the war and this one was rebuilt in the 1950s.

The service itself, in the beginning, was exactly as I expected. It was 100% in Hebrew, going page for page through the Siddur. The rabbi, cantor, and all the men prayed and sang more or less in unison, but not a single woman was praying or making any kind of sound. I chimed in when I knew the song, but I was the only one. There were some Hassids present as well, which was cool to watch them doven. As is common in all synagogues I’ve been to, there was also an underlying layer of chatting and small talk along with whatever was going on – that aspect was shocking to my guoyam friends, but I just had to chuckle and say “Jews love to talk!”

As the morning progressed more people started to come in, and by about 11:30 the women’s section was almost full. It coincided with the time when they took the Torah out of the ark, which in reform services means the long stretch is over and it’s getting close to the end – so I was slightly confused as to why everyone was showing up then. The strange thing, though, was what happened after they took the Torah around the room – there was a bit of down time while they got it back to the bima to read, and the now-full sanctuary exploded in chatter. Not so unusual yet - but they opened the scroll, the rabbi called the Aliyas, they read, and the chatter never stopped. The only way I knew the Torah was actually being read was by leaning over the railing and watching – I couldn’t hear anything. At an orthodox synagogue. I didn’t quite know how to process that.

By this time it was about noon, my friends were both having allergic reactions to the overwhelming amount of perfume present, and I knew the service wasn’t ending any time soon, so we decided to call it a day. Definitely a learning experience and an interesting trip.

One more week down

2007-09-21T15:41:00.001+02:00

I don't really have much to report, but I guess I should post an entry anyway to let you know I'm alive.

This week didn't have any major events. We had two Goethe excursions I mentioned on my last entry- one to a local pub, and one to the Goethe house.

The pub was neat because all the food was ordered for us, and it was basically a pitcher of apple wine and a huge platter of meat. Imagine a way to prepare pork, and it was probably on this platter. Can't put up pictures now because I'm at school, but look for them soon.

The Goethe house was Germany's equivalent of visiting Stratford-upon Avon, except it was destroyed in the war and rebuilt about 50 years ago. They did a good job of making it look old and beautiful, but I couldn't get it out of my mind that the house was relatively new.

Other than that, we stumbled upon another random German street fair - this one for the occasion of the Vernal Equinox (of course...I'd throw a festival for that one too...), but the coolest part about this one was not the ever-present apple wine and wurst, or the petting zoo, or the American cockroaches on display in a jar because people here don't know what they look like, or the pumpkin and strawberry wine - the best part of the festival was the booth that sold gluten-free buns for their bratwurst.

That's right, bratwurst with gluten-free buns. Oh happy day. Needless to say, we're probably going back there for dinner tonight.

On deck for the weekend is still TBA. It's my last weekend in Frankfurt! The original plan was to go to Würzburg tomorrow to see Chris McCain's old stomping grounds, but then I realized that tomorrow is Yom Kippur and I already missed one shot to go to a German synagogue for the holidays. It's an orthodox synagogue, so I have no idea what to expect. Then, we realized that Oktoberfest starts this weekend (even though October isn't for another week and a bit), and this weekend is really my only opportunity to go because I start school as soon as I get to Dresden. The only problem is, because we waited so late to buy train tickets, they now cost about €160, plus the cost of stuff when you get there (but I can't drink beer, so it wouldn't be SO bad). So we'll see if we actually end up biting the bullet and paying through the nose to go, just to say we went. If we go, it will be a day trip on Sunday.

Otherwise, good luck to the Dawgs this weekend against Bama and happy birthday to Erin (and Heather on Sunday!)

Busy busy!

2007-09-17T21:56:00.000+02:00

I guess I haven’t reporting much of what I’ve actually been lately, but rather just sharing funny stories and current events. I actually have been quite busy, and now will do my best to fill you in! (Note: there are lots of photo links on this page, and I also added more pictures to the original photo album - here's that link again)

Goethe Institut puts on several after-hours activities for the students to show us around, get us acquainted to the city, and give us a cultural education. TUESDAY we went to the university here in Frankfurt (ironically also the Johann Wolfgang Goethe University) and toured the campus. It was pretty cool, not much to report because the campus doesn’t have a central location like we’re used to at UGA, and it’s still summer break for the students so nothing was going on.

WEDNESDAY we went to the Museum of Modern Art. Visual art is something I think I would really like if I knew what I was looking at, especially as much as I love analyzing music and music history, but I don’t know the first thing about the genre and don’t know how to digest or interpret what I look at. Luckily we had a tour guide, even though I had to process an art lecture in German as I was trying to digest the art too, and one of the other Rotary scholars is actually an art student! She and I had some good discussions about some of the works we saw and I learned a lot too.

FRIDAY, not on a Goethe excursion, a group of us found out about a salsa-dancing event through another international school in town. On our way to the school we stumbled upon a street festival. The Germans like their street festivals – it seems that every day of the week there is a different one in a different place in town, at different times of the day, and for no apparent reason. They serve wine and beer as much as you can drink, with picnic tables and stand-up tables, lots of wurst, and sometimes other novelty foods. They’re always busting at the seams with people, and they just eat and drink and be merry until late. Seriously – I’ve been to about 5-6 of these festivals in the 2.5 weeks I’ve been here. Picture link here!

Anyway, we stumbled upon a festival that seemed to be celebrating the French – they served French wine, French food, and French music (except they played “Rock Around the Clock” with French words). There was even a bona fide polka band. The we went “salsa dancing,” put in quotes because the teacher failed to show up so no one really knew how to salsa dance – it was a bunch of international students, mostly Americans, a few French, Italian, Finnish, and Asians. It was fun, but not much more interesting than that.

SATURDAY; Another Goethe excursion took us to the little town of Marburg, about an hour north of Frankfurt. It is a beautiful town, with buildings dating back to the 14^th century! The inner city is all from the 14^th-18^th century. We also saw the oldest synagogue in Europe, uncovered from the old Jewish ghetto area in the 13^th-14^th century. We went on a city tour, and also enjoyed eating lunch and drinking cappuccinos at tables outside. There was also a castle from this same time period, so of course we climbed the mountain and saw the castle. What a view! Follow this link to pictures of Marburg. (Take note – most of my pictures have captions or explanations, so click on the individual ones to read what they are. I won’t take up space here!)

SUNDAY: Car aficionados beware, this next story will make you intensely jealous. Every two years Frankfurt hosts one of the largest auto shows in the world, and it just so happened that this famous show took place this weekend. The only bad part is it takes about three days to go through thoroughly, but we only had today, so it was a pretty quick trip. It has ten buildings’ worth of show rooms (several of them are multiple stories), test drives, go-carts, off-road tests, and an entire outside exhibit.

That being said, we saw every show room, but had to say no to all the test drives. I am in awe. I am by no means abundant with car knowledge, but I’m pretty sure I saw almost every car on the market these days, including Ferrari, Lamborghini, Bentley, Rolls Royce, Maserati, Porsche, and dozens of others. The lengths these companies go through to put up displays were just as amazing as the cars themselves. The most extreme thing I saw was acrobats, yes, trapeze artists, actually, for the Volkswagen exhibit. Suddenly the lights dimmed, music started playing, and these people soared up in the air and started spinning and twirling in an effort to advertise for VW.

The bad news is, halfway through the afternoon I accidentally deleted all the pictures on my camera. I was deleting a few to open up space on my memory card and accidentally hit “delete all,” and almost pitched a temper tantrum in the middle of the show room. The good news is, Anna and Ashlee still had all their pictures, so I got all of theirs. We were able to backtrack a little bit to retake some of the really important ones. I didn’t get everything back, but I still ended up with almost 300 pictures at the end of the day.

I took pictures of and with all these fancy cars, and lots of pictures of anything that looked cool. I got to sit inside a Porsche racecar and a Smart Car, too. They had lots of concept cars and eco-friendly cars, too. I surprised myself by actually knowing more than I expected about what I was looking at – I guess that’s what comes with spending time with people who constantly talk about cars. This knowledge isn’t a bad thing!

Of course I didn't post all 300 pictures, but I did post a lot. I'm relying on Chris to go through and identify them all - I can tell you who made them, but not much more than that. Here's album 1 and album 2.

COMING UP this week Goethe events include a “Frankfurter Evening” where they show us all the good local places and local secrets of ways to spend time, and a tour of the Johann Wolfgang von Goethe house. Goethe is Germany’s equivalent of Shakespeare, and he grew up here in Frankfurt. This weekend I will probably head to Würzburg to visit Chris McCain’s old stomping grounds.

Life’s busy, but good! I still hate not having consistent internet, but I love hearing from you guys! Thanks for keeping up this far!

An Adventure in Clothes-Washing

2007-09-13T16:21:00.000+02:00

Today I really needed to do laundry. Our apartment building has washers and dryers but they use special tokens, so you have to go to another building to buy these tokens to use the machines. It costs 3 and 2 euros for the washer and dryer respectively, so every load of laundry costs 5 euros. Whoa! I complained about UGA being expensive!

Let me preface this story by saying that I like to pride myself as someone who possesses a reasonable amount of common sense and an ability to problem-solve.

So Ashlee and I went to this other apartment building today to purchase our coins. The lady in the office buzzed us in the door via an intercom, but when we got inside the building we couldn’t for the life of us figure out where this office was. We looked in every door on the first floor, second floor, and basement, thinking that it couldn’t be anywhere else, but no luck. We went back outside, re-buzzed the office, and Ashlee asked for directions, but a car drove by as she answered so we didn’t hear it. Back to square one. We finally got in the elevator in hopes that there would be a sign or something, and sure enough there was – the office is on the FOURTH floor of this building.

Upon return to our building, we went to the basement to find these washing machines. We walked into the room and saw a ping-pong table, lots of bikes, and two locked metal doors (with no signs) that look like utility closets. Definitely no washing machines. After finding a friend and asking him exactly where they were, it turns out that the laundry room is behind one of the locked doors, and we must use our room keys to open the door. Oh, right, because I usually attempt to unlock random doors with my room key!

I finally got in the room, figured out how to use this strange washing machine, put it on the setting I want, put my clothes in, I’m good to go. I remembered clearly that the UGA washing machines take 37 minutes, so in about 34 I headed back downstairs to wait on my clothes. They were still happily spinning away on the “main wash” cycle, so I returned upstairs. About 20 minutes later I checked on them again – still on “main wash.” At this point it’s been an hour, my clothes are still sudsy, and they still have to rinse and spin! I sat and stared at the washer dumbfoundedly, pushed some buttons to see what they would do (nothing), and watched the washing machine next to mine cycle through wash-rinse-spin-end, wondering what I was doing wrong. I turned the dials to the same setting as that other washer – no luck. Luckily the owner of those clothes came into the room as I was guessing the washing machine was broken and I was going to have to rinse everything in my kitchen sink.

As it turns out, the washing machine was not broken. If left to their own devices they take approximately 2 hours to go through the whole wash cycle, unless you manually turn the dial to “rinse” – which I had in fact done, except I didn’t reset the dial before I adjusted the settings.

I doubt my clothes will ever again be so clean.

More on the Jewish theme

2007-09-10T16:47:00.000+02:00

When I went to read the paper today, the front page story was an event that happened Friday evening (unlike American papers, Monday is the big news day, not Sunday).

Friday evening, on his way home from synagogue, the local rabbi was stabbed in the stomach by an anonymous (possibly middle eastern) young man. Witnesses to the scene heard him shout "du Scheiß-Jude, ich stech' dich jetzt ab!" and the only explanation is a random act of antisemitism.

The interesting part to the story is that the entire city of Frankfurt is up in arms over this tragedy. There were several articles in the paper about how everyone is shocked, and how Frankfurt prided itself in such a large and healthy Jewish population, and how the city has (almost always) had a relatively positive relationship with the Jews. My last post was about the poignant war memorials, and I have seen a few more since I last posted pictures. Before my arrival I was wary about how the German population reacts to Jews, especially with the High Holy Days approaching, but so far I have been pleased.

The article discussed this event in context of the ever-present Middle Eastern conflict, and antisemitism vs. radical Islam, which made it seem that the German-borne antisemitism is not prevalent these days. It is always possible that the newspaper portrays the stories in a slanted light, but this time, at least here in the very modern and cosmopolitan city of Frankfurt, I don't think so.

I've been here for almost two weeks now, and this is already the second major incident that has occured (the first being the busted terrorist plot on the airport and military base). It is all so much more real here - rather than just reading about it in papers, these terrorist acts are happening in the city where I live. Despite it all, however, the environment and the streets of the city itself feel so much more safe than Atlanta. I have never remotely feared for my safety while being out and about, which is such an interesting contrast. The large-scale violence from terrorism is much closer, but the street crimes and overall local violence is almost none.

I promise I am taking care of myself and watching out for my safety, no matter how unthreatened I may feel.

Jewish Museum

2007-09-08T13:24:00.000+02:00

By far the most monumental thing I have done in Frankfurt thus far is visit the Jewish museum and cemetery. Many people have asked me, especially family members, “why Germany? Are you sure that’s a good idea? I worry about a young Jewish girl going there for so long.” My answer has always been that aside from the fact that I study the language, I want to make amends and be part of the healing process. We’ll never be able to get over that stigma until we make new memories and stories to replace the old ones, by facing the pain and dealing with it. This museum was definitely important for that.

It was a neat exhibit that chronicled the existence and development of Frankfurt’s Jewish population from the first records around 1100 up until post-WWII. There were lots of pretty artifacts that I put in my photo album, but there are a couple that are worth mentioning right now. This first one was a wall in the museum that lists thousands of names of lost or dead Frankfurter Jews from the war.

While searching, I found this.

Hm.

I then went to the other half of the museum across town, which housed the ruins of the old Jewish Ghetto (from the 1700-1800s) and the cemetery. The story behind the ruins is that they were uncovered while doing construction on another project, so the builders preserved the ruins and built the building on top. Behind the building is the old cemetery, which is now walled off and sealed behind a locked gate. There was a beautiful memorial with small plaques in the wall for each of the names from the other display. This is also the memorial from the old synagogue that was destroyed in the war. (see my photo album for more pictures of all of this).

There was another stone on her name before I put one there – that means someone else came to visit before I did.

Another new experience

2007-09-07T18:03:00.000+02:00

Today I experienced something else that has never before happened to me, culture shock aside.

I almost ran out of clean socks.

For as long as I can remember, I have always owned more socks than I have space for and more than I have ever been able to go through a drawer of. I own them in every color, every pattern, every design. I am known for my creative socks, and receive them often as gifts, so the collection grows. Running out of clean socks has never been an issue...

Until now, when I had such limited packing room. I packed a gallon-bag full, but I have already almost gone through my supply. I still have a few pairs of clean ones, never fear, but I wasnt going to last through the weekend. I had planned on doing laundry today because we don't have class on Friday afternoons, but it turns out that I can't get tokens for the laundromat on Friday afternoons; thus I was stuck washing socks in the sink to have enough to last until I can do laundry for real. That part was the culture shock - Americans, or at least American college students, use their Friday afternoons to take care of all the "extra" stuff that doesn't get done during the week - what do you mean I can't do laundry this weekend? Oh well....

Pictures....

2007-09-06T22:04:00.001+02:00

Still no success at uploading pictures to my aforementioned website, but I WAS able to put them on Facebook at an internet cafe (it didn't have the software for the other method). Here are the links to my first two albums, that I have configured for public access:

Frankfurt!
Jewish Museum (story to follow in next entry)

Other than that, things are pretty chill over here. My new friend Ashlee (from Russelville, Arkansas) and I are sticking together and battling the culture shock, homesickness, and general adjustment together, and I'm really lucky to have met up with her. Not only is she good company, but she's a Rotary scholar too, and after Frankfurt she's heading to Heidelberg for the year. We're alive and well, and that's about it!

What's it like to study in a language school?

2007-09-05T16:44:00.000+02:00

Interesting. Very different from all previous language training I have had.

Yes I have studied German for several years, and even though I make plenty of mistakes I thought I had a pretty good handle on it, but then I tried to communicate with Japanese and Italian people who don't speak English, only their mother-tongue and German, and it threw off my foundation.

I had no idea how americanized my German had become over the years, and how many wrong phrases and idioms I knew, only because I unintentionally used American phrases in the German language. Before this week I had never spoken German with anyone who didn't also speak English, who knew exactly what I was trying to say and what I meant. Sure, I took German literature courses at UGA and did just fine, and had to write papers all the time - I thought I was proficient enough, but now we're going back and making sure every word of every sentence we say or write is perfect. It amazes me how much I got away with and how much I just glazed over instead of going in depth to correct things according to (not americanized!) German standards.

That being said, life here otherwise is pretty good now that I have finally settled down somewhere. Internet is still sparse, and I have taken pictures of my new residence but until I can hook up my own computer to the internet I won't be able to post them. I have my own room and a tiny little kitchen and bathroom of my own, and I have officially unpacked my suitcases. I am as settled in as I am gonna get. I'm at the language school from about 9-5 every day, and all the people in my class are also Rotary scholars! There are a couple of us from USA (Arkansas and San Francisco), some from Japan and Korea, then two ladies from France and Italy (they arent scholars, though). It's wonderful to finally meet people and have friends to eat meals with and ride the bus with and talk with - even though I was only here four days before this, it felt like absolutely forever.

That's about it for now - obviously we're all safe here even though all that terrorist-stuff happened at the airport and the base.

The next few weeks

2007-09-03T16:38:00.000+02:00

I'm still alive and well, but postings will be sparse the next few weeks because my internet setup is not so good. I don't have internet in my housing, and as of now I can't get internet in the Goethe building (but hopefully I'll get that fixed soon), so right now I'm posting (quickly) from the computer lab. I'll do what I can, but right now it looks like it's gonna be slim!

A Comedy of Errors

2007-09-01T16:45:00.000+02:00

Well today started after 12 hours of sleep, after which I still felt exhausted. I went to bed at 9 last night, and set my alarm only as an afterthought, thinking that there was no way I would sleep all the way until 7:45. After it went off in the morning and I reset it for 8, I thought I hit snooze, but the next time I saw consciousness it was already 9 and I still felt like I had been run over by a truck. I got myself showered and ate breakfast, still not feeling well at all. I could barely touch food but downed several glasses of water until I couldn’t touch that either, and felt like I could lose my cookies and felt tingly and cloudy like I had a tiny fever. I went back to bed after breakfast and slept a little more, and finally felt better. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to dehydration with jetlag – water is so hard to get here (bottles are really expensive and water fountains are unheard of), and it is hard for me to handle because I am the person who never leaves the house without a water bottle (seriously…ask my roommates). On top of that, a lot of the water is carbonated mineral water – yuck!

The real purpose of today’s post is to relay the comedy of errors I experienced today as I attempted to look, act, and talk like a German, and it didn’t go so well. It all started this morning with an awkward “is it coffee, is it tea, where’s the pot, where does the water go” extravaganza at breakfast where there really isn’t much more to tell than that. Next, I went to a Vodafone store and bought a cell phone and the guy told me I spoke good German, which made me happy, so I then asked him how to use the subway/streetcar system to get to the Goethe Institut, because I had tried to figure it out yesterday but to no avail. His answer was, “well I always drive, so I can tell you how to walk there!” Fortunately it wasn’t far, and it was a beautiful walk.
Did I mention that there are stoplights for all crosswalks, even where there are no traffic lights? And these people all wait until the light turns “green” to go, regardless of whether there are any cars coming or not. I learned that one the hard way, by looking like an idiot when I jumped the gun before the light actually turned.
Once I got to the Goethe Institut I asked them directions to get to my housing building for the next month, and the lady told me I needed to take a streetcar. I asked her how to navigate the system to buy a ticket and get there, and she told me to buy a Month-pass because I’ll be riding it a lot, and to go into the train station (right across the street) to buy it. Easy enough, right? Well, all of the ticket machines in the station are automated (i.e. no one to answer questions), and you are supposed to push buttons to indicate your destination. Easy enough….except the destination this lady told me is not listed! And there is no option to buy a monthly pass! I read and re-read the maps, examined every button on that machine, looked around for friendly-looking people to ask (but everyone was in a hurry – it was lunch hour), and after a very long time I finally gave up and went back to Goethe to get play-by-play instructions. Luckily one of the ladies was on her way to the train station too, so she took me and pointed me in the right direction – as it turns out, you have to go to a different place and stand in line to talk to a person to buy the monthly pass, and the reason there is no destination listed is because it is good for all destinations and all methods for 30 days. Whew.
Referring back to the point of my crosswalk story of jumping the gun: when I went to board the proper streetcar it was (unbeknownst to me) stopped about 20 feet in front of its official stop. The doors were open so I got on, but no one else was on it, and when the guys in uniform up front gave me a funny look I realized they were doing some work on something in the front. I sat down anyway, figuring I was the only one who wanted this route. After they got it going again, it drove the extra 20 feet, reopened the doors, and dozens of people got on – they were just waiting it to get to the “official” boarding place, rather than just get on when the doors were open. Who knew? Try that on campus transit!
Ordering food has been especially hard, because it is in a hurried setting where you have to know exactly what you want, say it all quickly, and move on so the next person can order. It all has a rhythm, but I haven’t yet been able to master it. Every such transaction has been stressful so far, especially because I don’t know what kind or type of food each menu item is. Twice today the person from whom I ordered looked at me and said “huh?” as I tried to say what I want. Who knew that the kind of “cup” you get ice cream in is a different word than the “cup” you put liquid in?
Last but not least, when I was too tired to walk any further and decided to call it a night, I decided to take advantage of my monthly pass and take the subway home. Not only did it turn out that I would have to transfer trains a few stops ahead, but I learned the hard way that U-bahns and S-bahns are both underground but are different kinds of trains with different routes, and they are named by their ultimate destinations – which is fine if you know the surrounding area, but totally unhelpful to someone who just wants to know the next few stops on the line. I almost ended up completely lost and on completely wrong trains three times, but eventually made it home without actually making any errors.
The good news is, every ride will be less scary than my two encounters today with public transportation. Unfortunately I couldn’t find any take-home maps! Right now the simplicity of MARTA is actually appealing – at least it’s easy to know where you’re going!
Yesterday afternoon I saw a Rotary Club sign on the door of the hotel next door to mine (how convenient!), so I went in to ask when their meetings were. As goes my luck, they had had a meeting at 12:30 earlier that day. Where was I at 12:30? Sitting in the sandwich shop across the street. Oh well…..
My legs and feet hurt, because I literally haven’t stopped walking (except for my two aforementioned trips) over the past two days, and will probably do the same for the next two. (yes, mom, I’ve been wearing good shoes).Maybe I should stretch tomorrow. At least it’s good exercise!

I'm here!

2007-08-30T15:37:00.000+02:00

I am here! I am officially living in Germany! Well...at least in a hotel for now.

Remind me next time I move abroad to pack ridiculously light.

Even though I really can't carry all my luggage myself, I thought I packed light(-ish) this time - but who knew that the airline weighed the carry-on baggage too?? Of course it was overweight, so there I stood in the middle of the check-in terminal, packing and repacking all my luggage, stuffing a bag to send home with Mom and Dad because it simply won't fit, and realizing "this is just too impossible to bring everything overseas with this limited space!" Oh well. I now have my oboe but no music, and only about half of the host gifts I bought, until it can be shipped over. Other than a slight delay due to weather, the trip was fine - my luggage was not lost, there were no waiting lines, I got a taxi and went straight to the hotel (and the taxi driver told me I speak German well :-)).

I had some time to kill before I could check in, so I wandered around the city - it's beautiful! Very modern, but it feels so much older than American cities do (gee, wonder why!). It's very green, and the skies are blue, and the weather is wonderful (it's about 25 degrees cooler here than Atlanta!)...

I also went in some shops just to look around, including a few drug stores and grocery stores. I don't really know why, but I was surprised to see so many American products on their shelves - Dove, Nivea, Olay, Garnier, Loreal, Mabeline, etc. Then again, Frankfurt is a notably Americanized city - we'll see what it's like when I get to Dresden.

Understandably I'm quite tired, after arriving here at about 8:00 this morning. Quality sleep time will be spent in my hotel:
That's all for now - internet access is spotty the first couple days, but I'm here and alive and all is well!

T-48 Hours...

2007-08-28T02:44:00.000+02:00

Holy cow...the reality is sinking in.

Things that have been hard:
Moving out of my apartment. Leaving Athens for the last time. Leaving Raleigh for the last time. Saying final goodbyes. Not getting the opportunities to say final goodbyes. Knowing that life is continuing just fine without me, whether I'm involved or not. Missing my sister's high school graduation, Jonathan's wedding, and all my friends' graduation from college, and the opportunity to spend one more year with them. Knowing that once I step off that plane, I'm completely on my own and don't know a single person in the country. Sorting through boxes to find what I want to pack. Prioritizing what is important enough to justify packing in limited suitcases to bring with me, versus what I should buy there. Figuring out how to negotiate Euros and American Dollars through bank accounts and credit cards. Not knowing enough about the culture to know what to expect when I get there or how to appropriately handle myself. Having to answer "I don't know" when people ask me questions. Not having other people to sympathize and to hear "oh yeah I know what you're going through," because my situation is unique, and not being able to help others understand how this feels. Being scared out of my mind because I have no idea what I'm getting myself into.

On the flip side:
If nothing else, I have hotels/housing/dorms established, I'm enrolled in the university, I have plane tickets, I have a host family waiting for me once I arrive in Dresden. That's the most important part, and whatever else I forget can be taken care of there.

Scared as I may be, I am thrilled to have this experience and this opportunity. My anxiety at this point is because of the unknown, and I know once I get settled there I will be fine. I'm blazing my own path and having to be incredibly independent, and nothing else in life will seem as intimidating as what I'm about to do. The pre-trip emotion is fear -- but very soon I know it will be nothing but excitement.

Welcome!

2007-08-13T04:21:00.000+02:00

Welcome to my blog! For the next year, I will be using this website to stay in touch with friends and family back home in the USA and recount my journey as I head to Germany for a year.

What am I doing? I won a Rotary Ambassadorial Scholarship to study at the Technische Universitat Dresden in Dresden, Germany for the next school year. I leave August 29 and will spend the month of September in Frankfurt, where I will be taking an intensive language course at the Goethe Institut there. Come October, I head to Dresden and will beg in my studies as a music history major (who dabbles in the education department as well). I am taking a year off from school at UGA, where I will return next fall to finish my degree.

Through this website, I will periodically post pictures and stories about my time abroad, what I'm doing, and how I am working with Rotary to fulfill my scholarship duties. Feel free to contact me (robinschaps@gmail.com), and I'll post later with more specifics on that!