A Comedy of Errors

Well today started after 12 hours of sleep, after which I still felt exhausted. I went to bed at 9 last night, and set my alarm only as an afterthought, thinking that there was no way I would sleep all the way until 7:45. After it went off in the morning and I reset it for 8, I thought I hit snooze, but the next time I saw consciousness it was already 9 and I still felt like I had been run over by a truck. I got myself showered and ate breakfast, still not feeling well at all. I could barely touch food but downed several glasses of water until I couldn’t touch that either, and felt like I could lose my cookies and felt tingly and cloudy like I had a tiny fever. I went back to bed after breakfast and slept a little more, and finally felt better. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to dehydration with jetlag – water is so hard to get here (bottles are really expensive and water fountains are unheard of), and it is hard for me to handle because I am the person who never leaves the house without a water bottle (seriously…ask my roommates). On top of that, a lot of the water is carbonated mineral water – yuck!

The real purpose of today’s post is to relay the comedy of errors I experienced today as I attempted to look, act, and talk like a German, and it didn’t go so well. It all started this morning with an awkward “is it coffee, is it tea, where’s the pot, where does the water go” extravaganza at breakfast where there really isn’t much more to tell than that. Next, I went to a Vodafone store and bought a cell phone and the guy told me I spoke good German, which made me happy, so I then asked him how to use the subway/streetcar system to get to the Goethe Institut, because I had tried to figure it out yesterday but to no avail. His answer was, “well I always drive, so I can tell you how to walk there!” Fortunately it wasn’t far, and it was a beautiful walk.
Did I mention that there are stoplights for all crosswalks, even where there are no traffic lights? And these people all wait until the light turns “green” to go, regardless of whether there are any cars coming or not. I learned that one the hard way, by looking like an idiot when I jumped the gun before the light actually turned.
Once I got to the Goethe Institut I asked them directions to get to my housing building for the next month, and the lady told me I needed to take a streetcar. I asked her how to navigate the system to buy a ticket and get there, and she told me to buy a Month-pass because I’ll be riding it a lot, and to go into the train station (right across the street) to buy it. Easy enough, right? Well, all of the ticket machines in the station are automated (i.e. no one to answer questions), and you are supposed to push buttons to indicate your destination. Easy enough….except the destination this lady told me is not listed! And there is no option to buy a monthly pass! I read and re-read the maps, examined every button on that machine, looked around for friendly-looking people to ask (but everyone was in a hurry – it was lunch hour), and after a very long time I finally gave up and went back to Goethe to get play-by-play instructions. Luckily one of the ladies was on her way to the train station too, so she took me and pointed me in the right direction – as it turns out, you have to go to a different place and stand in line to talk to a person to buy the monthly pass, and the reason there is no destination listed is because it is good for all destinations and all methods for 30 days. Whew.
Referring back to the point of my crosswalk story of jumping the gun: when I went to board the proper streetcar it was (unbeknownst to me) stopped about 20 feet in front of its official stop. The doors were open so I got on, but no one else was on it, and when the guys in uniform up front gave me a funny look I realized they were doing some work on something in the front. I sat down anyway, figuring I was the only one who wanted this route. After they got it going again, it drove the extra 20 feet, reopened the doors, and dozens of people got on – they were just waiting it to get to the “official” boarding place, rather than just get on when the doors were open. Who knew? Try that on campus transit!
Ordering food has been especially hard, because it is in a hurried setting where you have to know exactly what you want, say it all quickly, and move on so the next person can order. It all has a rhythm, but I haven’t yet been able to master it. Every such transaction has been stressful so far, especially because I don’t know what kind or type of food each menu item is. Twice today the person from whom I ordered looked at me and said “huh?” as I tried to say what I want. Who knew that the kind of “cup” you get ice cream in is a different word than the “cup” you put liquid in?
Last but not least, when I was too tired to walk any further and decided to call it a night, I decided to take advantage of my monthly pass and take the subway home. Not only did it turn out that I would have to transfer trains a few stops ahead, but I learned the hard way that U-bahns and S-bahns are both underground but are different kinds of trains with different routes, and they are named by their ultimate destinations – which is fine if you know the surrounding area, but totally unhelpful to someone who just wants to know the next few stops on the line. I almost ended up completely lost and on completely wrong trains three times, but eventually made it home without actually making any errors.
The good news is, every ride will be less scary than my two encounters today with public transportation. Unfortunately I couldn’t find any take-home maps! Right now the simplicity of MARTA is actually appealing – at least it’s easy to know where you’re going!
Yesterday afternoon I saw a Rotary Club sign on the door of the hotel next door to mine (how convenient!), so I went in to ask when their meetings were. As goes my luck, they had had a meeting at 12:30 earlier that day. Where was I at 12:30? Sitting in the sandwich shop across the street. Oh well…..
My legs and feet hurt, because I literally haven’t stopped walking (except for my two aforementioned trips) over the past two days, and will probably do the same for the next two. (yes, mom, I’ve been wearing good shoes).Maybe I should stretch tomorrow. At least it’s good exercise!