Holy cow...the reality is sinking in.
Things that have been hard:
Moving out of my apartment. Leaving Athens for the last time. Leaving Raleigh for the last time. Saying final goodbyes. Not getting the opportunities to say final goodbyes. Knowing that life is continuing just fine without me, whether I'm involved or not. Missing my sister's high school graduation, Jonathan's wedding, and all my friends' graduation from college, and the opportunity to spend one more year with them. Knowing that once I step off that plane, I'm completely on my own and don't know a single person in the country. Sorting through boxes to find what I want to pack. Prioritizing what is important enough to justify packing in limited suitcases to bring with me, versus what I should buy there. Figuring out how to negotiate Euros and American Dollars through bank accounts and credit cards. Not knowing enough about the culture to know what to expect when I get there or how to appropriately handle myself. Having to answer "I don't know" when people ask me questions. Not having other people to sympathize and to hear "oh yeah I know what you're going through," because my situation is unique, and not being able to help others understand how this feels. Being scared out of my mind because I have no idea what I'm getting myself into.
On the flip side:
If nothing else, I have hotels/housing/dorms established, I'm enrolled in the university, I have plane tickets, I have a host family waiting for me once I arrive in Dresden. That's the most important part, and whatever else I forget can be taken care of there.
Scared as I may be, I am thrilled to have this experience and this opportunity. My anxiety at this point is because of the unknown, and I know once I get settled there I will be fine. I'm blazing my own path and having to be incredibly independent, and nothing else in life will seem as intimidating as what I'm about to do. The pre-trip emotion is fear -- but very soon I know it will be nothing but excitement.
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2 comments:
Congrats on the trip. You're going to have a great time. Be safe, and enjoy the bratwurst!
Hope you got some sleep on the plane! Soon the pre-trip jitters will be a memory. Even if you have a few hiccups and have to find creative ways to solve your problems, it will be smooth sailing sooner or later. We all support you, and I'm so proud of how you've gotten everything together and uprooted your life to go do this. I'll be interested to hear your first impressions of Frankfurt and how different they'll be from your first impressions of Dresden. ILYH, Mom.
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